Posts Tagged “self esteem”

2018-I Welcome You! by Rae Roach

2017 .. it’s over!! And it was a DOOZY for so many of my friends and acquaintances. For me it was one of the easier years. Don’t get me wrong, there were major challenges, major changes and major growth but because of the self-work I have been doing (years of it..lol) I was able to handle it better than years prior. I can not go any farther without saying a very special thank you to those that went through it with me and are STILL by my side–I am grateful, humbled and in awe of each of you!! Truly not sure I could’ve made it without your support and love!

2018 .. If you are into numerology you will know this is an 11 Universal Year. (If you are not and want to know more please let me know–I LOVE numerology!!) When I realized this it hit me .. That is my Life Path 11/2. OMG this is MY year! With that knowledge I (easily) made the decision to forge my path, purpose and passion full-time. In the past this would have been extremely daunting, nerve wracking, with a big oh dose of WTH am I thinking!! Even as I sit here and write this I still feel none of those feelings. The knowledge that I AM worthy of the life I desire, I AM capable of achieving it, I DO have the knowledge though my experiences to impart on others, I CAN be helpful to those in need of guidance, I CAN and WILL be successful, I FOLLOW my gut instincts because I DO believe in my intuitive abilities. We ALL deserve the life you envision for yourself and YOU CAN achieve it.

In my self-work I have been studying many individuals in the fields of self-development and spiritual growth. The ones I gravitate towards are Wayne Dyer, Don Miguel Ruiz, Sr and Jr, Don Jose Ruiz, Susan Jeffers, the teachings of Abraham Hicks and many more. Some of the things I have gleaned from these individuals were life-changing; feel the fear and do it anyway; stay in your vortex, you can’t solve the problem with the same mind that created it; you can only control to the tip of your finger; live authentically; don’t take things personal; your opinion of ME is none of MY business; give up your personal history and don’t die with the music still in you. These are just a few thoughts, or mantras, that I now live by; but, more importantly I have learned to embrace silence.

This weekend I attended a New Year—New You 2-day Workshop presented by Uma Alexandra Beepat, of Lotus Wellness Center, and Rob Pritchard, of The Healing Frequency. Among the many things we went over the one that resonated the most was the part about Fear. We were sitting in a circle and Uma asked us what fear was holding us back. I was at the end of the circle and as each participant talked about their individual fear(s) I felt a connection with each but had a serious revelation—I no longer felt the fear of them. Now, let me be completely honest here, just because I no longer felt the fear does NOT mean I no longer feel fearful. I do!! But what I realized was I no longer felt the crippling effect of fear.

You know what I’m referring to .. you can’t move or think or react rationally because the fear is palpable!!

This was a MAJOR breakthrough for me because I have constantly lived in fear; fear of the unknown, fear of what people thought of me, my decisions, the direction I truly wanted to go, fear that no one would accept me AS ME, and fear that I am unlovable. And that is just a few that come to mind!! How did these fears abate you might ask .. well as I mentioned above—YEARS of self-work. Let me tell you right here and right now …. IT WAS EXCRUCIATINGLY PAINFUL! The driving force was to just get through it! And as I sit on the other side of through I can look back with clear eyes and see the craziness of it all! We all think we are protecting ourselves by staying in our ‘comfort zones’ or by ignoring the problem/situation or swallowing the pain, hurt, guilt, shame, regret—you name it. But in truth, I never understood how confining my comfort zone was until I finally stepped out of it.

I now stand in my POWER with the knowledge that this life is for the taking .. it is mine .. it is yours .. it is ALL of OURS to take. The Universe is there to deliver to each of us our desires, we just have to realize, accept and step into it. There is no competition – I am not taking from you and you are not taking from me!

 

SO STEP INTO YOUR POWER!!

Feel the Fear and DO it anyway!!

Seriously, what do you have to lose?

2018 brings with it massive change and I welcome it with the excitement of a child .. What else is possible??

 

As I embark on this chapter of my life I wanted to let you know exactly what I will be doing and it is my desire that should you need guidance, assistance, counsel you will seek me out. I have a tribe that is also available to and for you and I look forward to connecting with you, or connecting you with my Tribe, so you too can start your journey to YOU!

 

 

The journey continues …

Rae Roach

 

 

 

SERVICES and AFFILIATIONS:

Women Helping Women Retreats and Workshops – Owner

Director of Lotus Signature Massage School

Director of Lotus Wellness Center

Access Bars® Practitioner

Tuning Fork Therapy® Practitioner

Munay Ki Shamanic Practitioner

CACR—Certified Angel Card Reader

Numerology Readings

dōTERRA Wellness Advocate

Arbonne Independent Consultant

CONTACT INFORMATION:

Services: www.lotuswellnesscenter.net

Email:  RaeRoachSpeaks@gmail.com

Phone:  (703) 200-2110

Social Media:

            Personal: Twitter / IG: @rae_roach

Facebook / LinkedIn: Rae Roach

Business: Twitter / IG: @WHW_Retreats

Facebook and Meetup: Women Helping Women Retreats

 

Posted on: January 2nd, 2018 No Comments

Hypnosis: The Inner Workings of the Mind

psychic reading

Hypnosis, you either like it or are scared of it. That is generally the reactions I have been getting since my hypnosis certification in January. So of course…..I have to blog about what Hypnosis really is and how it can help you 🙂

When I first heard of my teacher Tim Horn of Hypnoconsult LLC  as a hypnotist, I was fearful. You want to “put me under” and do what?! I shudder to think back to those early days of my ignorance and how uncomfortable I must have made Tim feel. I asked him every cliched thing in the book I could because well, honestly my knowledge of hypnosis was based solely on tv shows!

“Are you going to make me cluck like a chicken?”  No.

“Am I not going to remember?” No.

“Am I going to look stupid?” You do that on your own. 😉

But thankfully, Tim is a patient man and he suffered through my silly questions in order to educate me about his profession. Am I glad he did! When I met Tim years ago, we did a trade where I offered him massage in exchange for hypnosis. I was dealing with overweight issues and had a sweet tooth unfortunately. To this day I remember my first hypnosis session with Tim clearly and was so impressed with it, that I went on to take training through Tim’s program and become a certified hypnotist myself.

Here are some things to note about my personal experience with hypnosis:

1) I remember most to everything said

Many times the fear associated with hypnosis is that we will be “under some type of spell” and not conscious of what is happening. Then the evil hypnotist can take advantage of us! Well media had something to do with that because when I was hypnotized, I was very aware of what was happening, albeit in a relaxed state. To best describe it, I can hear car alarms going off and dogs barking, but I have no desire to move or respond, I am in such a peaceful state.

2) Hypnosis works! 

Hypnosis works because while in the hypnotic state, a client is more open to suggestions. Our analytical and calculating conscious mind is resting, so the subconscious mind is in full play, and this mind tends to be more open and accepting of new ideas. If I could imagine my mind talking, it would look like this for me:

Hypnotist: You feel very happy when you are exercising, in fact you crave exercising, you crave it so much, you want to do it everyday for at least an hour at a time.

Conscious mind: no way dude! I have sciatica pain, do you know how that will hurt? and where will I find the time? An hour! are you kidding me?!

Subconscious mind: Okay.

When Tim hypnotized me, we addressed my love of chocolate cake. Ohhh its sinful. I can eat a whole cake by myself. I remember vaguely him saying that I don’t really care for chocolate cake anymore and it reminds me of sweaty socks. No lie, to this day, i can probably have a bite or two of chocolate cake but then I hear Tim’s voice about the sweaty socks and I stop eating immediately! This is three years later!

3) Changes are permanent

Just like my chocolate cake dilemma, other new behaviors have embedded within me. Hypnosis doesn’t address your conscious mind, it address the subconscious realm which dictates 85% of our behavior in real time. When you have one session with a hypnotist, usually you notice results right away. I tend to offer a three pack session when working because in each following session, I build on the first one to really anchor the suggestion down. This makes the change more permanent and a greater possibility to last.

4) You are awake and cognizant

If there was a fire in the building, I would jump up and run out with everyone else. Hypnosis does not prevent you from self survival or put you in harm. Remember in the subconscious realm, you are open to suggestions ONLY IF it is acceptable to you. If I was with a hypnotist and she tried to assault me physically in any way, I would stop her because I would not be open to that behavior. I explain this in detail to clients because there is the general fear about getting hypnotized by a male hypnotist and being taken advantage of. This is nonsense! While I can’t speak for ALL male hypnotists, I can speak for the few I know (Tim and Rob) and believe me, they are interested more in helping you overcome your addictions and problems than peeking down your shirt. Have some faith people!

All in all, I have had some tremendous success with my hypnosis clients. I have worked on a woman who had social anxiety issues and she reported back that she went out to a bar with friends that weekend. I have worked on a man with smoking addictions and he quit after the first session. I have also worked on a woman with weight loss goals and she has lost over 20 pounds and now crave healthy foods.

Curious? Give it a try! I am including my contact info as well as my friends who do it as well. We are here to help and hypnosis truly does work.

Uma: uma@lotuswellnesscenter.net

Tim: timhornphd@aol.com

Rob: reikiwlb@gmail.com

Posted on: June 27th, 2016 No Comments

Do I need a Life Coach?

life-purpose

HI there! Uma here! and coming to you with this new certification I recently received and my clients have been enjoying. So let’s jump right in, shall we?

What IS Life Coaching?

I know, I know the title is somewhat depressing. I mean when I first heard of it, my initial thought was “So you mean to tell me I suck so bad at life, I need a coach?!” Who wants to hear that ever?

Well turns out, I had a bad attitude about it (foot in mouth syndrome) because not only did I spend a year with a life coach and completely turned my life around, but I became one too!

My Personal Journey

I have my own stuff to worry about. Sometimes people forget I have a back story. They look at the thriving wellness center, my loud and fun personality, my wonderful kids and think “She has it all.” I know this because this is what people have told me. To my face. In real time. And I am always shocked. I have a lot going on too! How do you not see the mess within me?

Now don’t get me wrong, I am an AMAZING healer/speaker/teacher/author (duh!) and it IS because of all the experiences I went through in life however the back story is real. And it was beginning to come to the front more and more.

I spent a year seeing a therapist. Every week. No kidding. I have to say, she did a lot for me. She validated how I was feeling and taught me that my thoughts and feelings are real regardless of how other people felt about it. I am incredibly grateful for her because I don’t think I would be here today without all of her amazing help. However. Once I worked through my ISH, I didn’t know what else to do. I didn’t have anything else to talk about. I was feeling real peaceful with my past. However, I was having some serious issues in my present.

Luckily as faith would have it, a life coach came into my life last year in the form of my boyfriend Rob Pritchard. Rob is the owner of the Healing Frequency and an amazing person and healer. When we initially got together, we thought it was a match made in heaven! Two healers with their own businesses, similar interests and friends dating? How does it get better?

Well it didn’t. It got worse! What no one tells you in this divine match up is that we each became a very good, clean, shiny mirror for the parts of ourselves we weren’t too happy with. I saw myself in full regalia and I didn’t like it one bit.

This is where the life coaching came in. Thankfully Rob didn’t run (whew!) but he chose to help me through it. He knew I was reacting to the mirror and he didn’t take anything personally but kept reminding me of the greatness that lay within me, albeit dormant, but coming to the surface. For a year, I fought with him like a rabid dog on the loose, but he never let up and he never gave in. He remained firm, he remained stoic and I loved him even more.

I came out of 2015 a new woman. I came out feeling confident, sure of myself and for the first time in 38 years, independent. I didn’t need Rob or anyone else for my happiness, I found it within myself. And that is in part due to my own inner work but mostly to Rob’s life coaching skills and me finally taking a knee and listening.

This year I took the certification course in life coaching with Rob because I saw just how beneficial it was and it changed my perspective ALOT on life coaching. A coach is not someone yelling at you and beating you down but instead someone who is more like your partner in helping you achieve your goals.

What is a Life Coach:

  • A sounding board when exploring choices
  • A motivational mentor
  • One who gives unconditional support
  • A wake up call and a reality check in
  • A designer to help create a more productive life
  • A referee to help clients push the envelope
  • A beacon during stormy times

I have been all of these things and so much more to my recent clients who have signed on for their coaching sessions. There is so much work to be done and sometimes we can get overwhelmed in life. I recently had a client who felt wishy washy about what she wanted to do in life and her life purpose. After our coaching session, she realized she had a deep desire to follow a path but the amount of work it took made her fearful and anxious, that is why she kept going back and forth.

Right now you are probably thinking, “hmmmm I could probably use a coach myself. I definitely got some areas in my life that need cleaning up.”

So what do you do? Well first there needs to be a deep desire and willingness to want to change and grow. If you come in as a client because someone else is making you do it, it will not work because you are not personally vested. When you are all in the game, I am ready to work with you because I know the desire is there to make a change.

Once you decide to contact a coach and set up your session, you are well on your way! Besides the major result of getting you from where you are now and where you ultimately want to be, there are many other benefits to coaching:

Benefits of Life Coaching:

  • You will BE in action as you determine and set goals with your coach. Finding out what you really want and what goals to set is the first course of action. Rob made me realize my time management was all wrong if I wanted to accomplish the mega life I wanted, so through his guidance I created a time management plan that I am still using a year later!
  • Create a balanced life because you designed it. A coach will not tell you what to do, that is not what coaching is about. Instead they will ask questions and have you ponder and think about what you want to do.
  • Help you to “push the envelope”. Your coach will nudge you out of your comfort zone without having you feel overwhelmed by the process. You will feel safe reaching for more because your coach is your partner and will be by your side as you do it.
  • Help you make better decisions. Now that your focus is defined and clear, you can see things clearly and know what you need to do for your particular issue.
  • Develop more energy! This was an unexpected side effect that I welcomed! When Rob started clearing through my belief patterns, it relieved a lot of energy I had tied up in it and I started working out more and getting more things done. What a treat!
  • Help Clear up Unresolved Issues. This was a big one for me. Most of us need closure and most of us feel we need another person’s blessing for closure. With a coach we start to see the situation as it is and we resolve it for ourselves. It is a truly freeing moment to experience this.

There are many more reasons why coaching works and has helped so many people in life. The most important reason for me though is Accountability. A Coach will hold you accountable for any steps planned. This is where our friends and loved ones can’t go. They sympathize with us, they understand when we don’t have energy to do our homework because the kids were sick or you need to make dinner. Not a coach! A coach will EMPATHIZE with you but they will not join you in your little pity party. They may give you a day to get yourself together (thanks Rob!) but then its back to the grind.

I loved the accountability part of coaching because sometimes I like many people let certain goals drop. There is a reason why resolutions aren’t completed! As humans we fall somewhere along the line. A coach will keep a running tab on your homework and commit to meeting you at the finish line. Trust me, my coach is still here. 😉

So do you think this is for you? Can I be your coach? Sure I can! It just takes your determination to decide so. I am so excited about this new certification i have that I want to share it with you! So for the month of April, I am offering a 30% discount on the 90 minute session I created for my clients. It involves coaching to go through the issues you are dealing with and we end with some Reiki energy work to balance and soothe your energy.

Don’t wait! Book this appointment today! Email me at uma@lotuswellnesscenter.net. You can also opt to have a one hour coaching session without Reiki whether in person or by phone as well!

Until next time,

Love and light

xo Uma xo

Posted on: April 1st, 2016 No Comments

Let My Pain Be…

suffering in love

Hi there, Uma here and man am I ready to write this post! From my own personal experience and recently talking to several people in the past few weeks i have been incited. And of course, what better way to deal with it than blog about it? (blush)

So here’s the thing, I am going to make a statement right now and it may have you in agreement with me (keep reading) or not (no shame, abandon post now) but it has to be said because I am really tired of the world’s insensitivity to people that are hurting. I say world because I am not calling anyone out in my personal life (you know who you are) and for people I have been talking to, it runs the gamut from family to lovers to friends to coworkers. It is just not ok.

Listen….we all have something we are dealing with. If you are walking around with not a care in the world, no luggage, no pain and no suffering, really move on, this is not the post for you.

This post is for the people I KNOW are suffering and doing so silently because they are afraid to speak up or share because they are tired of the judgments and criticism. I am choosing to be the voice of these people today. So here…we….go….

  1. My pain is my pain and try as you might, you will never know my pain

I met a woman at my studio who came in to talk about some matter in her life with her relationships. However, the more we talked and the deeper down we went, we touched on the fact that she was molested as a child. I held space for her as she talked and talked and talked about it until she couldn’t talk anymore. I was intently listening and very involved emotionally as I felt for her but at the very end, she said something to me that made the hair raise up on the back of my neck. She said, “Thank you Uma for listening. I guess that’s all I really wanted, to be heard and not be judged.” I told her that was preposterous, who can judge her in this situation? To which she replied, “My ______ (family member) told me to get over it because there was no penetration, only touch.” Shock.

This is the world we live in. A world where we are so insensitive that we allow crap to come out our mouths and hurl it at other people. Now you see why I am incited? Oh but wait, there’s more stories like this to come.

Here’s the thing folks. You cannot RATIONALIZE someone else’s pain. How do you even begin to justify that?! When you try to rationalize something, you are consciously analyzing the thing you are rationalizing. You are completely out of the field of emotions, where the pain is stemming from.

The next time you are blessed to be in the presence of someone hurting (I say blessed because clearly they trust you enough to share their pain with you) do one of two things and ONLY these two things:

  • Have compassion. Listen intently with your heart, maintain eye contact and relax the face. Allow yourself to listen to what they are saying and when you do say something, do it to bring forth encouraging words and not to respond. Most people who are hurting are not looking to you for advice but some form of comfort if even only temporarily from their discomfort. You would be amazed how little is required from you to do so much for someone who is hurting. All you really have to do is sit quietly, listen and lend an ear. Most times when you do this, people will tell you they feel amazing after. They feel lighter and really they are because energetically they have chipped away at the block of pain and they can feel it.
  • If you are unable to provide space for someone because you are busy, tired, selfish or egotistical then do the following: Have compassion. Say something gently to let them know that you understand this is a source of hurt to them and you are unable to hold space for them at this time or forever, whichever your cold heart desires. It could look like this: “I am so sorry to hear this is affecting you. I can hear the pain in your voice, this must be something very deep for you and I am so sorry to see you in this amount of pain. I need to be honest with you, because I love you and respect you, I don’t think I am the right person for you to talk to about this. For my own personal reasons (I am dead on the inside) I cannot provide a safe and warm place for you to open up and share and help in your grief. I hope you understand and can find someone to share this with because it seems like you have to talk about it and not keep it in.”

2. I am not hearing YOUR advice about MY pain if your advice includes YOU more than I

Sigh. So, we are creatures of habit and usually our habits are shown in our speech. You can tell a lot about a person from their speech and how many selfies they take. A couple of months ago I met a woman at one of my workshops at my studio. She came with a friend and it was a workshop on “Letting Go”. We talked about relationships and how all relationships had a natural end. Most times, people tend to stay longer than they are supposed to and they then experience suffering as a result as the relationship no longer holds value for either participants. This woman was in awe. Clearly the workshop was hitting home and I noticed it in her eyes but I didn’t want to draw attention to her so I kept talking and made sure to keep my eyes roaming freely around the room. Finally she spoke up to say what I suspected, this talk was exactly what she needed because she was in an on again and off again relationship with someone and she is now seeing it clearly for the first time. Well, no sooner had she said that when her friend started jumping up and making a real show of herself. “Omg I have told you many times, over and over the SAME thing Uma is saying!” As the conversation continued between me and the woman in front of the class (I had her consent to use her personal situation as an example), her friend would chime in every time I said something that resonated with the woman. “Yep, I said the same thing.” “Yep I said that too.” And on and on this went until she finally got the woman to admit out loud to everyone that she was right and she had said the same things to her over the years.

Folks, I know you need validation. Heck, we all need it but you getting validation at another’s expense is not pretty. It is actually downright ugly. If you are the friend who gives people advice and they never take it…..you need to take a step back and realize it is one of two things:

  • Either you are not giving sound advice and people realize that and just don’t pay attention

 

  • OR you give GREAT advice but they cannot use it because it usually comes attached to some form of validation for you. My pain is your victory and that is not ok. I know I am rubbing a lot of egos the wrong way right now but hear me out, this can be very helpful to you and people in your life. How to tell if you are doing this? Easy!

– If you give advice to people and they don’t follow it and what you said will happen, happens….you usually follow that up with a big ole serving of “I TOLD YOU SO”

– You give advice to people and they decide to follow you on it and then suffer the consequences of you holding it over them for the rest of their life. It sounds something similar to this “You should be THANKFUL for me because of ALL I DO FOR YOU”

Ok there is no judgment here, Lord knows I have used these techniques too so if you are guilty of these behaviors, just admit it and make amends within yourself to be better about being a better person to your loved ones. What is the appropriate way to give advice? I have no clear cut answer for you, what I can share with you is what works for me with my clients that allow them to take my advice:

  • When I hear a person’s dilemma, I verbally mirror back to them what I am hearing. Sometimes people don’t understand just how crazy they sound until it is mirrored back to them. “So what I am hearing is that you are frustrated waiting by the phone for him because the relationship is on his schedule when he is not with his wife?” Ahhhh, revelations. BUT if you do this, please do it with an honest questioning voice and not one dripping with sarcasm. Hold that for the comedy club.
  • I like to put the power in the person’s hands. Why would someone feel motivated to make a change when it is advice from me? It is much better for me to make a change when I made the decision by myself. So in my sessions, my role is less of an authoritarian figure and more of a sounding board to get them where they need to be. I can make suggestions, but I do so lightly and put it back in their court. Something I would say sounds like, “Ok so these are the two decisions you are faced with. I am not telling you which to choose and in fact I am not even telling you to choose. What I am saying is to process. Process where you are at right now and when the time is right, you will make the decision that is right for you.”
  • Have empathy. I like to let clients know I understand where they are at and empathize with them. That sounds like this, “I know you have to make a decision between the two…and you know what? Take as much time as you need because if I were in your shoes, that would be a difficult situation for me too. I can see and understand now why this is painful for you and how much you have suffered as a result. I know though that when you make a decision, it will put you in a much better place than where you are right now.”

 

I can go on and on about respecting other people’s pain and suffering but we will stop here now. I feel like I have gotten it off my chest lol, I do feel lighter. My hope is simple. Read this and practice it. If you know of someone in your life right now who is hurting, make a commitment to be there for them as much as you can. I say that last part because there are a few people out there who do like staying miserable, but that is a topic for another time.

If you like this blog post and would like to hear more about pain, suffering and unrequited love or maybe ask me personally your own questions into your own situation, come to my event on Sunday February 7th at the Intuitive Wellness Center in Burke. It is called “Love Redefined: Understanding Today’s Relationships”. For more information and to RSVP, please visit:  http://www.meetup.com/thelotusandthelight/events/227974559/

Until next time, have a Namaste and stay beautiful inside and out

Love and light,

Uma xo

 

 

 

 

 

Posted on: January 11th, 2016 No Comments

Top 5 New Year Resolutions You Can Make

NEW-YEAR-2016

It is 9.30pm on January 1st as I write this and I am well aware it is a little improper for me to be wishing you a happy new year but nevertheless I do.

I love the energy of a new year’s day. It is so full of hope and wishes, new intentions and resolve for us to be bigger, better, brighter than we were the year before.

Yes most times we break those new year resolutions but for the most part, we are an optimistic species because new year resolutions are still a “thing” despite many seeing it as a fad, it has withheld the test of time.

There are a couple of things I do at the end of one year and the beginning of the next and you know, I never change it or question it because every year has been a good year, with lots of growth and understanding so in my mind, why fix it when it’s not broken?

Let’s see, the week leading up to New Year’s day, I tend to keep the house in order and clean up or throw out things no longer of use. The day of New Year’s Eve, I make sure all the laundry is done and the trash is taken out. This is telling of my Guyanese background as it was considered tradition to enter the new year with a clean home.

Another cultural observation of New Year’s Day is to make black eye peas and leave it on the stove. Most of my family and friends make cook up rice which include black eye peas in the recipe but I prefer to just cook up some black eye peas on the stove and leave it out. The understanding is that black eye peas invite prosperity and abundance to your home, so you should meet the new year with some on your stove. Hey! This is the stuff old wives tales are made of, so somewhere along the line, it must have worked and hence carried forward generation after generation!

Another New Year’s tradition for me is to make a vision board. I LOVE doing this because I always go into it with my expectations of what I want and by the time I am done, Spirit has another plan for me. I love my board for 2016 because it involves a lot more introspection, meditation and introverted behavior, which is my nature (I know, I know I can be the life of the party but deep down, I really am an introvert). I also inspired Rob to do one of his own and he is excited to see what Spirit has in store for him (big hint-we match up perfectly in love and in life).

I have also completed my annual reading where I pull 14 cards to tell the energy and events of each month (if you would like me to do yours, click here for more info). It is such an affirmation when your reading lines up with your vision board which lines up with your energy. It is all coming together and I am excited to see it play out this year!

Finally I make a resolutions list. Yes I do! I know many people are against making new year resolutions but I will leave them with this thought. How do you approach a project? Do you go into it letting the chips fall where they may or do you have an outline or plan of action? Of course having a plan makes you accomplish that project quickly and with the best results. If you have a plan to become a millionaire in this lifetime, will you wait to win the lottery or will you go about saving a little each year and investing your money to make it happen? I rest my case.

If you have goals and dreams to accomplish, don’t wait! Start on them now and make your resolutions to either accomplish them this year or at least make some headway. For example, I plan to publish my second book, “Love Redefined” and it has twelve chapters. I plan to write a chapter a month and finish it by December to promote and publish next year. Challenge accepted.

I will admit I do not accomplish all my goals (I am Capricorn-a high achiever if you ever knew one!) but I do get a lot of satisfaction with the ones I do accomplish because it shows me, physical proof that I did something with my life and the year was not wasted. How many times have you heard people say the time flew by and they don’t know what they did with their year? Not me! I can tell you with a straight face I have accomplished a 10 day fast with no foods, global volunteered in Brazil, read 12 books and grew my business exponentially in 2015. I lived!

So if you are serious about your goals and want to start with new year resolutions good for you! You are on the right track and I can help with some tips by giving you the top 5 resolutions everyone should make every year. Last year in 2015 I completed 14 out of 17 goals, yah me! This year I upped the ante by making 30 resolutions. Ooohhh, I can’t wait to make them happen! Of those 30, there are 5 that are repeated every year and this should be part of your resolutions as well:

1) New Year’s Resolution #1- Address a Fear 

Every year I address one of my fears (yes I am admitting I am human and have fears) by including it as one of my resolutions. Last year in 2015 I had not so much a fear but uncertainty that I can go long periods of time without food. So I took part in the Master Cleanse fast which meant 10 days of no food and only drinking a lemonade mixture to keep you going. It was brutal but it was worth it because the empowering feeling I had after was amazing.

When you set out to conquer a fear and you do it, you feel unstoppable and confident that you can tackle anything. You don’t have to go in with a large resolution like mine, start small. List your fears or uncertainties and pick one that you can do but just avoid doing because it makes you feel uncomfortable. Start with say a bikini wax or sky diving if you want! Whatever it is, large or small, it will give you a sense of empowerment and that will trickle into every part of your life.

2) New Year’s Resolution #2-Increase your Savings Account 

If you haven’t already created a savings account, now is the time to. If you don’t believe in the banking system, then buy a safe and save at home. Bottom line, we all need to have a stash put aside for a rainy day. You don’t know what life can bring so saving money for that rainy day will bring you peace of mind now and when it happens.

The goal is to have six month’s worth of finances safely tucked away so if you are unable to work, you can pay your bills and continue living for the next six months while you figure out what you need to do. You don’t have to push yourself and stress yourself out, move at your pace! If you need to have $12,000 in savings ($2,000/month) give yourself three years to accomplish that goal. This way if you have a new year’s resolution to save $4,000 this year it works out to putting aside $300 a month. Of course you can try to accomplish it in one year, but remember resolutions are not meant to stress you out, it is meant to keep you on track with your goals and hold you accountable. Take as long as you need to reach it.

3) New Year’s Resolution #3- Do Something Healthy 

Let’s not expect miracles here! As much as I would love to lose 50 pounds, the most I am realistically expecting to take off this year and keep off is 10. The understanding is that you want to live healthy so as you age and get older, you can live fitfully and easily in your body with minimum aches, pains and medical conditions.

Weight loss as Oprah has identified is a tricky event and is less about physical action than it is about mental attitude. If you can see your weight loss journey as a pyramid, it will stand tall and looming over you….and you know what? It should. It has taken you a lot of years to put this weight on, it will not disappear overnight. Instead of focusing on the weight, focus on increasing healthy behavior. Try to incorporate more wellness activities into your life such as walking, yoga or dance. Try to tackle the unhealthy food habits and love of junk food and bit by bit, when you do these things, you start to chip away at that pyramid from the base. Eventually over time it will crumble and you will be free from the dieting yo-yo regimen that has been your life.

My goals this year include restarting my yoga routine and choosing healthier snacks. I am no longer going to eliminate snacking from my diet but make better choices. Instead of reaching for a piece of cake, I will have a yogurt and granola mix instead. If I can keep choosing healthier, it nourished my body and helps me keep the weight off as well.

4) New Year’s Resolutions #4-Include the Family 

If you have kids or pets, it is important you also include a resolution to do something for them that they cannot do for themselves. Being the owner of a wellness center, I teach and provide services of a metaphysical nature. As a result, my children grew up practicing yoga in their bedrooms, meditation and other things. This year I plan to complete both of their Reiki trainings (Nathan is level II and Joshua is level I) and increase their daily meditation times.

When you put emphasis on someone else and make it part of your resolutions list, it will come about because it is part of the plan. Listen, we are all good parents and we all try our best to do right by our kids (and pets!) but sometimes we fall short. We fall short because we are tired, busy or have other things to do. Its ok! It happens to all of us, including the super moms and super dads out there. By putting your loved ones on the resolutions list, you are committing to spending quality time with them and not overlooking them. You will feel great about it as they will too.

5) New Year’s Resolutions #5-Grow Yourself 

And finally one of the resolutions you must make every year is a commitment to you. We are all students of life and if we do not keep learning, we will stop growing. Stop growing in spirit, in mind and in evolution. Every year I sign up for continuing education classes for my massage therapy license and other licenses I need CEUS for but I also enroll in personal enrichment courses or read books to grow myself as well.

Spiritual enrichment doesn’t need to be about studying alone either. You can take up a new hobby, learn a new dance or recipe or do something you normally won’t do. The idea is to grow your knowledge base and allow expansion in. The more you learn, the more you grow and you become a more open minded person. As we know especially now, the world needs more of that, open minded people.

So in closing dear reader, my wish for you is simple. Live 2016 the best way you can and don’t look back. Make this year fabulous and live it large! I have faith you will do it better than years past and will have much to show for it at the end of the year.

Until next time,

Love and light,

Uma

Posted on: January 2nd, 2016 No Comments

The Higher I go….The Easier Life Becomes

Ascension

Namaste all,

It’s been awhile since I have been on here and I do apologize! We have been so busy at the center and now with the addition of all our wonderful healers, we have been blessed to have many different blog posts not just my usual rambling.

But of course I have stuff to talk about, so I shall ramble on.

The title of this Blog Post, “The Higher I go…The Easier Life Becomes” is actually one of the many mantras Rob gave me. Rob is a Master Healer at Lotus Wellness Center and when I was taking private instruction from him in his #fiveweekchallenge he found blocks to my intended awesomeness and came up with some neat mantras I repeat to myself on a daily basis. This one I struggled with until today.

The funny thing about the Universe is that it brings to you exactly what you want. This is why it is so important for your heart and your mind to be in alignment. You can say with your lips mantras and affirmations but if your heart believes another story, you send that out to the Universe. I believe strongly that while your mind has a link to the Universe, your heart is the gateway to making your intentions come true.

So here I am, little ole’ me sitting daily and saying my mantras: I have unique talents and abilities, I am a Master in manifesting abundance, I dream huge and I know I can achieve my dreams, The Higher I go- The Easier Life becomes…and I struggle every time with the last one. 

Why? Because deep in my heart that has not been my belief for a very long time. If we go back…way back…..way, way back….my earliest memory of limitations would come from my mom. She would tell people, “Alex has to work hard for everything she has but for her brothers it came easier for them.” Now wait a minute! Before you get all loyal to me and start bashing my momma, it’s all good. She didn’t mean it in a put down way, that was her belief system and that was based on the fact that everyday she saw me studying for hours and hours and my brothers playing and hanging out. We all got good grades so she assumed I had to work hard and they didn’t.

The thing is, I believed  her when she repeated it over and over to people so I started to embody it. When I was studying hard in the beginning, it was because of a love of learning (and you can clearly see that love hasn’t left because of all the trainings and reading I still do!) but then it became a necessity because I started to believe I needed to work hard because things didn’t come as easily to me.

Can you identify? Stop reading! Take a moment and think for a minute, has anyone ever said anything about you or to you that you have started to accept? Maybe they said you were average looking, or couldn’t go anywhere in life or couldn’t amount to anything. Did you start to believe that? Now you see my story.

As with everything, I don’t think people are bad in nature or meant to be harmful. I think there is a lot of talking going on and it is always mindless. If you are intuitive, you pick up and embody what they say especially if they are close to you because you don’t doubt their judgments about you. Why would they lie?

It’s not lying but more mindless chatter. We need to pay attention to it and cancel it out before it can take up residence in your mind. I have a thing I do now when I hear something that is not in alignment with my soul, I say “Cancel/Delete!” and sometimes I shock people out of their socks because I am known to be loud when I say it. I say this statement for big things like “You will never make it big.” to little things like, “You are cranky today”  Cancel/Delete! Because I may be cranky now before my morning coffee but it doesn’t set the tone for the rest of the day and you my friend shall not do it for me!

So back to my original post. I have spent the last 30 years embodying the principle that:

1) I have to work hard for everything I have

2) The more I make and become successful, the harder life becomes

And Rob picked up on both of those old belief systems hence why he gave me my specific affirmations. In reality, we make our lives and we can choose whether it will be easy or hard. I know some of you are struggling right now and wondering, “Is Uma crazy? Why would I choose this for myself?” And my answer to you, is I don’t know….why would you?

I have seen it and witnessed it with my own eyes how I self sabotage myself when the going gets good. I recently started reading this book under Micha’s recommendation, its called The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks. To hit on one point (there are many that are amazing, you got to read it!) he said that every time we excel at something, we create a negative situation to anchor us and bring us back down from that high. Oh boy, did he just call me out or what?!

See this whole year has been magical, I have beautiful success and awesomeness at my studio , got in a great and loving relationship and have been just having fun and enjoying life to the fullest. So of course I had to throw some drama in there! This year also came with some cat fights, loss of friends and even a couple of tiffs with my boyfriend. What am I doing?

I’m doing what we all do, starting something because the belief still lies in me that I can’t have good things happen to me. I don’t deserve it.

The Higher I go, The Easier Life Becomes.  I started meditating on this fact today because today is the day I change my belief system and really start to agree with this affirmation. The beautiful thing about self discovery is that is all you need to affect change in a positive direction for yourself.

Many times when I help a client integrate a new belief system or address an old one, the insights are powerful and huge. I love seeing the look of wonder and amazement on their face and then they ask me, “Ok what else do I need to do? How do I make the change?” Really, there is nothing else to do. Once you have understood why you do what you do, that knowledge alone is powerful enough to create change. We are adaptable and evolving light beings and we are always striving to be better and become lighter in our consciousness. When we receive insights into our behaviors, the changes happen and take us to new levels of understanding that in turn become new levels of being and behaving.

So in closing, I shared this with you to let you know that yes, life is easy and the more you achieve, the more easier it becomes. If you are like me and grew up with the knowledge that life is hard and you have to work hard to get what you have, banish it! Take it out of your mind and to the corners of the earth because we are truly living in a new time and space. We are in the dimension of manifesting the lives we want and it is an easy process.

Don’t believe me? Then stay tuned! Watch how I end this year in a fantastic style with much more abundance and happiness than I have had all year, heck all my life. The tide has turned for me and I can truly say to you, The higher I go, the easier life becomes. Wouldn’t you join me in making the rest of your life the best of your life? 😉

Until later, love and light

Uma xo

Posted on: September 21st, 2015 No Comments

Holding Space for those in need

children-hugging

I came up with this article because as of recent, I have been feeling like I am holding space for just about everyone and everything going on. From my boyfriend, to my close friends, to the riots in Baltimore to the present day elections in my home country of Guyana….I am doing what I can do in situations where most people feel helpless…I am holding space.

What does that mean exactly? To hold space means to be available mentally, emotionally and spiritually for someone or some event while the person or event is happening. You are lending your energy to it and providing positive energy and vibes for everything to go smoothly. It doesn’t mean you bear the burden of another (thats another technique and another blog), it simply means to allow the person or thing to happen as it is going to naturally happen and you do what you can to provide a safe environment while the events occur.

I think of imploding. Imploding because my new favorite word in 2014 when I had a particularly tough year and everyday I felt like I was internally combusting. To implode means to collapse violently inward and usually as this happens on the inside, nothing can be perceived from the outside. Last year as my world crumbled around me, I maintained a smile on my face the whole time. Imploding.

Imploding happens in my circle. My group of people are actively seeking enlightenment and a better way to live and to be. This means they are actively going after their old belief patterns, changing born-with behaviors and addressing the triggers that occur in their daily lives. They are not blaming others for their hurt feelings, they are accepting responsibility and understanding that no one can hurt us, it is our perception that hurts ourselves. As fun and exciting as this sounds, it is not easy work. To accept responsibility for your pain is painful work. You have to go into it, process it, analyze it and ultimately come out stronger than before because you overcome it. As this happens, the world can seem like a dark and unfriendly place and this is where you can come in for your loved one. You can hold space.

So how exactly do you hold space? There are many different ways to do this but ultimately the general idea is to be present and be available for that person emotionally and spiritually. It does not mean a physical presence at all. Recently my boyfriend lost a very good friend of his and he imploded. It was a sudden death and the shock was too much for him to bear along with his grief. He withdrew into a cave and for one week I didn’t hear from him but I still held space for him. Energetically I reached out to let him know I was here for him when he was ready and physically I gave him space to deal with the pain he was experiencing. That too is holding space.

Here are some more ideas of what you can do when you have someone near to you suffering or experiencing a traumatic event. You can even do this for events , like I did for the recent Baltimore riots:

1) Keep your ego out of it. 

Ahh yes ego, the world revolves around us and its all about us…on a regular day, however whenever you are faced with a situation where someone is hurting, the attention naturally has to turn to them. You don’t offer your opinion at this time. Even though you have had great success with coping skill #1, #2 and #3, it is not what they want or need at this time UNLESS they ask you for it. What a grieving person needs is your time and your ear and for the conversation and energy to be about them. Not you. Also whatever they are going through is unique to their path and your opinions do not count. This is not a time to be assertive or efficient, life lessons rarely come with an efficient plan, it is meant to happen to mess up your plans so you can go in and process what is happening. At this time save the advice, “I told you so” and reprimands for some other time…or better yet never. Hurting people don’t need more hurt, they need acceptance and this is what you can give at this time.

2) Give only enough information they can handle

I recently experienced this with my boyfriend. The one mistake I made during his time of grieving was trying too hard to act normal and keep life going because I felt it would help. What happened unfortunately was he became overwhelmed with the to-dos of our days and social commitments we made before the death of his friend. When someone is hurting, life slows down. They do not have the energy or stamina to keep going with regular day to day activities, so be mindful of this. After that one week of no communication, when he slowly came back to me, I was mindful to only share with him information he needed to know at that time. I went ahead and started canceling our plans with our friends for get togethers and dinners because I wanted to buy him some more time to release and to heal from his recent upset. This is what you can do as well. When you are in this situation, become proactive and shelter your loved one from the world. Only relay information to them that they need to know. They don’t care if you make dinner or order in, little tasks like that you can handle on your own. The more time they have to themselves to handle the situation they are in, the faster the process and the sooner they can make it out.

3) Allow people to make their own decisions and trust their own intuition

This is a hard one for stubborn and domineering space holders and yes I am talking about myself. I feel I know everything! So when my loved ones hurt, it is a challenge for me to shut up and listen to them devise ways of how they are processing and what they plan to do. It never, ever meets my standards! The lesson here that I learned (the hard way) is that the situation came about exactly for that reason. For people to learn and grow and trust their own intuition, they have to be placed in some pretty hairy situations that requires their cunning and tact to bring them out of it. When you step back and just lend your energy to the situation, you do several things for the person experiencing this issue:

– You don’t take their power away by letting them make their own decisions

– You make them feel safe enough to fail because you are not judging or condemning

– You allow them to have different experiences and feelings than you and that makes them feel unique and empowered

Tragedy and upset doesn’t have to tear someone down. It is a perfect opportunity to build someone up stronger and better than they were before. Use these tips wisely and you and your loved ones can make it out of difficult situations peacefully and with more consciousness than you had before going into it.

As you choose to hold space for someone or some event, it is important to remember to see the unifying factors that bring people together not the dividing factors that rip us apart. It becomes a choice of are you acting from ego or spirit? Are you trying to help or further complicate the situation?

For me, I want to help. I want to be the one that people know they can come to without fear of judgment or condemnation, that I would provide a safe space for them to implode (or explode) and  no matter what happens or what I bear witness to, I will still accept and love them as they are, not as how I want them to be.

Start today creating safe spaces. You will be amazed at how much you can help by just being and not doing.

Love and light,

Uma

Posted on: May 11th, 2015 No Comments

Opinions Do Not Define My Reality

girls_gossiping

People surprise me everyday. Just when I think I have an understanding of the human race, someone goes and pulls a stunt to make me question why I am on this planet still. I get it. I think differently and tend to do things differently but still…..we can’t be this self serving.

I think this will be one of my more important blog posts because I am sure….I am CONFIDENT that there are people who suffer because of silliness like this. Luckily for me, I was born without a sensor and will break it down in hopefully a helpful way to help those who cannot help themselves. You know who you are, the meek, the mild and the walked on people of the world.

Today an incident came up that reminded me no matter how far you go, how much lessons you learn, there will still be challenges to overcome. AND if you are not strong in your belief, if you are not confident in your path…someone somewhere can really knock you down.

I have a person in my life that is well, a little difficult for me to handle. I am NOT saying this person is a difficult person. I am saying that interacting with this person is a difficult task for me.

Let’s be real. You are not going to get along with everyone you meet. We are all different personalities and you tend to hang out with the ones similar to you and stay far,far away from the ones that are a complete polar opposite to you. I should have stayed far away because this person and I? complete opposites. Funny thing about after a blow out, you always knew it would come to this. With this person, I knew from the moment I met him that we would have very different views on many things. His behavior and demeanor is different to mine. I always kept my impressions to myself about this person because its just that, MY impressions….not reality, just my opinion. However isn’t it funny the way life works? Soon others would come to me and mention things about this person that I myself felt. I would nod and listen but silently think to myself, isn’t this funny? I think the same thing.

However, I believe in giving everyone a fair chance. I don’t judge, I pay attention. Throughout the years of knowing this person, I have noticed several things that bother me, but I always take the blame on it. “You know he doesn’t know better, he doesn’t know how he comes across, he didn’t mean it, he is really a nice person but just an unsettling presence.” However today, no more.

This person and I had it out in a back and forth email brawl and when I realized the difference of our opinions, lifestyles, beliefs were not going to change, I conceded defeat by choosing to walk away from this person AND wishing them well. I get that some people are in your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime and I have gotten really good at ending friendships in a casual way without hurting or insulting the other person.

I promised I would still speak highly of them to others because of his career (he is really good at what he does professionally) but this whole experience left a bitter taste in my mouth and I chose to end the friendship part of our interactions and stick with the professional association.

Clearly I was wrong somewhere because this person came back in attack mode. He made me to understand that I was rude and disrespectful, I felt like I did no wrong, I did not or do not apologize for wrong behavior and I had anger issues.

STOP. See its a lucky thing I am me and I know better. I have been in this situation before and thankfully, I learned not to succumb to the pressure of “Well if several people tell you the same thing, maybe they are right.”

No they are not right. That is their view. That is their opinion of me and I have a real, rude awakening for you folks…here it is: Your Opinion Does Not Define My Reality. 

In fact, NO ONE’S opinion of you defines your reality. That is their perception. So let’s think about this. There may be five people right now who think I am rude and disrespectful with an anger issue. If I put this fact in a bubble, it makes me feel insecure. Wow, people really think I am such and such. And 5 people? Oh wow, that’s a lot, so maybe I need to stop and think about this.

Take it out the bubble and remind myself of the fact that I have over 400 Facebook friends, over 1000 real life friends and over 2,000 acquaintances/ work colleagues/ family members and that 5 don’t seem like such a big deal.

I know the Yogis believe that everything and everyone is a mirror. So technically this person calling me rude and disrespectful is really describing himself (which by the way is a correct evaluation of him given the exchange). Does that help? A little. You know what helps more? Realizing that not everyone can handle you. I am not everyone’s cup of tea and if I try to become so, then I have to weaken my strength to become acceptable and dare i say it, “drinkable” for the masses.

I don’t know about you but I don’t want to be bearable. I didn’t come in this world to dim my shine to make others feel comfortable. I am who I am and I proudly stand by it.

Now this by no means is a green card to do what you want and as you please without regard for other’s safety and care. You have to always be respectful and kind wherever necessary. However if someone crosses your boundary, then absolutely…give them hell.

My boyfriend? Nicest guy in the world but he will tell you plainly, “I give someone three complimentary punches to my face before I retaliate. The first time might be a mistake, the second time you are more sure but by the third time, you are definitely certain this is the path you want to go down in which case, I will respond.”

With this person today, we were going back and forth over email about a dispute we were having. I was firm and to the point about it and this clearly was too much for him. He came back with the insults of calling me rude and disrespectful and that’s when the boundary was crossed. I had not described him or his attributes in any way. The gloves came off.

Needless to say, I have no problem walking away from this problem person because:

1) I have my ethics and integrity as I know the issues I was having with this person has happened before to other people who confided in me about their situations with him.

2) I value myself over all others so his impressions of me meant nothing to me. I did not think of myself as rude or disrespectful and what really matters is what I think of myself, not what him or others think of me.

3) His opinion represents his thoughts of me and the situation at hand. I do not need to surround myself with people who feel I am capable of being unfair or judgmental.

There is a Guyanese saying that my mom frequently uses with me, “Girl your mouth na left in your mother’s belly.” Meaning that I had guts and I was fearless. I was going to speak up no matter what and say what I have to say.

I wish everyone was like this. If they were, can you imagine? No more miscommunication, no hidden or mixed messages or signals, everything would be out in the open! We would know without a shadow of a doubt who was for us and against us. And you know what? We would be ok with it.

So why am I sharing my little ordeal today with you? Because I know this happens to you too. You get into a dispute with someone, they come out swinging and calling you names or falsely making accusations against your character and feel justified because they said it. They said it, it is out in the open so it must be true right? No, its not.

I am asking you to reclaim your power. How do you reclaim it? You reclaim your power by NOT believing everything said or written to you. You know how you spell check your essay? Well double check the content being delivered to you. Check the angle the person is coming from. Is it from a good place or a negative place? Are they trying to help you or bring you down? What is the motive?

This person feels I believe I am always right. My boyfriend could easily clear that up for him. Many times my love and I have discussions where he brings forth information in a loving and caring manner. I think about it, I double check it and then I either disagree or agree with him (more times than not I agree with him cause he is super smart!) and I have no problem admitting my fault or apologizing for something I did. Why? Because these were not attacks on my character, it was delivered with tact and love and it was meant to grow me not harm me.

So the next time this happens to you, run it through your fact checker before you allow someone else’s opinion to define you. Heck even if you agree with them, it still doesn’t define you because guess what? You can change.

This life is beautiful because at every turn we are given a chance to change, to grow, to live and learn. The people in your life should be helping you with these lessons not attacking you or bringing you down. Don’t give them that power….reclaim it and live your life for you. No excuses and no feelings of regret. You can do this, I believe in you and heck… I will say it! If I can do it, you can too.

Love and light and until next time,

~Uma~

Posted on: March 3rd, 2015 No Comments