2017 .. it’s over!! And it was a DOOZY for so many of my friends and acquaintances. For me it was one of the easier years. Don’t get me wrong, there were major challenges, major changes and major growth but because of the self-work I have been doing (years of it..lol) I was able to handle it better than years prior. I can not go any farther without saying a very special thank you to those that went through it with me and are STILL by my side–I am grateful, humbled and in awe of each of you!! Truly not sure I could’ve made it without your support and love!
2018 .. If you are into numerology you will know this is an 11 Universal Year. (If you are not and want to know more please let me know–I LOVE numerology!!) When I realized this it hit me .. That is my Life Path 11/2. OMG this is MY year! With that knowledge I (easily) made the decision to forge my path, purpose and passion full-time. In the past this would have been extremely daunting, nerve wracking, with a big oh dose of WTH am I thinking!! Even as I sit here and write this I still feel none of those feelings. The knowledge that I AM worthy of the life I desire, I AM capable of achieving it, I DO have the knowledge though my experiences to impart on others, I CAN be helpful to those in need of guidance, I CAN and WILL be successful, I FOLLOW my gut instincts because I DO believe in my intuitive abilities. We ALL deserve the life you envision for yourself and YOU CAN achieve it.
In my self-work I have been studying many individuals in the fields of self-development and spiritual growth. The ones I gravitate towards are Wayne Dyer, Don Miguel Ruiz, Sr and Jr, Don Jose Ruiz, Susan Jeffers, the teachings of Abraham Hicks and many more. Some of the things I have gleaned from these individuals were life-changing; feel the fear and do it anyway; stay in your vortex, you can’t solve the problem with the same mind that created it; you can only control to the tip of your finger; live authentically; don’t take things personal; your opinion of ME is none of MY business; give up your personal history and don’t die with the music still in you. These are just a few thoughts, or mantras, that I now live by; but, more importantly I have learned to embrace silence.
This weekend I attended a New Year—New You 2-day Workshop presented by Uma Alexandra Beepat, of Lotus Wellness Center, and Rob Pritchard, of The Healing Frequency. Among the many things we went over the one that resonated the most was the part about Fear. We were sitting in a circle and Uma asked us what fear was holding us back. I was at the end of the circle and as each participant talked about their individual fear(s) I felt a connection with each but had a serious revelation—I no longer felt the fear of them. Now, let me be completely honest here, just because I no longer felt the fear does NOT mean I no longer feel fearful. I do!! But what I realized was I no longer felt the crippling effect of fear.
This was a MAJOR breakthrough for me because I have constantly lived in fear; fear of the unknown, fear of what people thought of me, my decisions, the direction I truly wanted to go, fear that no one would accept me AS ME, and fear that I am unlovable. And that is just a few that come to mind!! How did these fears abate you might ask .. well as I mentioned above—YEARS of self-work. Let me tell you right here and right now …. IT WAS EXCRUCIATINGLY PAINFUL! The driving force was to just get through it! And as I sit on the other side of through I can look back with clear eyes and see the craziness of it all! We all think we are protecting ourselves by staying in our ‘comfort zones’ or by ignoring the problem/situation or swallowing the pain, hurt, guilt, shame, regret—you name it. But in truth, I never understood how confining my comfort zone was until I finally stepped out of it.
I now stand in my POWER with the knowledge that this life is for the taking .. it is mine .. it is yours .. it is ALL of OURS to take. The Universe is there to deliver to each of us our desires, we just have to realize, accept and step into it. There is no competition – I am not taking from you and you are not taking from me!
SO STEP INTO YOUR POWER!!
Feel the Fear and DO it anyway!!
Seriously, what do you have to lose?
2018 brings with it massive change and I welcome it with the excitement of a child .. What else is possible??
As I embark on this chapter of my life I wanted to let you know exactly what I will be doing and it is my desire that should you need guidance, assistance, counsel you will seek me out. I have a tribe that is also available to and for you and I look forward to connecting with you, or connecting you with my Tribe, so you too can start your journey to YOU!
The journey continues …
SERVICES and AFFILIATIONS:
Director of Lotus Signature Massage School
Director of Lotus Wellness Center
Access Bars® Practitioner
Tuning Fork Therapy® Practitioner
Munay Ki Shamanic Practitioner
CACR—Certified Angel Card Reader
dōTERRA Wellness Advocate
Arbonne Independent Consultant
Phone: (703) 200-2110
HI there, Uma here and today’s blog is on the wonderful modality of hypnosis. Of course this comes as no surprise! I just recently became a certified Hypnotherapist through the National Guild of Hypnotists (NGH), the leading organization of Hypnotists in the United States.
It was an amazing 100 hour certification course I took through Tim Horn of Hypnoconsult LLC and I am very excited to work with clients in this new and healing career.
The belief in hypnosis is that the subconscious mind delegates your day to day activity without you even noticing. This is the place of habits and thought patterns. While your conscious mind is focused on your tasks at hand (I have to do laundry, buy groceries etc…), the subconscious mind is running a tele novela in the background.
“God I look fat in these jeans.”
“I am not hungry but I really want to eat that piece of chocolate cake. Ok I can, I deserve it.”
“Look at him over there with that smug look on his face. I don’t know him but I already don’t like him.”
Sounds familiar? We have thoughts and these thoughts that are judgmental and opinionated come from that subconscious realm deep inside of us and most times without us even paying attention to them.
Usually it is not a big deal to be on auto pilot and go through your day with your little chatterbox inside your head, BUT what if that chatterbox was feeding you lines like above? This will affect you from achieving and staying in a place of peace, compassion and understanding.
So hypnosis works to get to the underlying issues of our thoughts. The understanding is if we can change the thought pattern then that will change the belief which changes the attitude that then changes the behavior. Looks a little something like this:
Thoughts –> Beliefs –> Attitudes –> Behavior.
And this is ultimately what we want, behavior modification. If we can develop new, healthy behaviors, all of life opens up to us with ease and joy.
How does Hypnosis work?
Easy! The first step is to contact a certified hypnotist (like myself) and detail what your issues/situation is. The first phone call or meeting is the longest one as we go over what you are currently struggling with as well as what you want to see and achieve after hypnosis.
After we determine your goals and outcome, you sit or lay comfortably and I begin to take you through a series of progressive relaxation techniques to achieve mental and physical relaxation. Once that is achieved we then “talk” with the subconscious mind.
Sessions can be of two types. A client can either choose to not communicate and let me do all the talking for them or it can be interactive where the person communicates while in a deeply relaxed state of focused concentration. This is where the healing begins.
After the work has been done, I emerge you and bring you back to a state of alertness and you feel amazing! Full of energy and vitality and definitely lighter as a result of all the releasing you have done.
Can anyone be hypnotized?
Absolutely. There are only three requirements to be hypnotized:
In the short course of my life as a hypnotist, I have met several people who say to me they cannot be hypnotized. That’s a false statement. The real statement they should be making (and I tell them this and they all agree) is I choose not to be hypnotized because the issue is still serving me in some way OR I did not trust the person I was with and therefore did not allow myself to fully relax.
As a hypnotherapist, I rule out these three requirements in our first talk. I do suggestibility testing to see how you respond to suggestions and I pick your brain a little to see if you really are ready for change and want to overcome this issue you are dealing with. If I feel unsure in any way with the way you respond, I will and do politely refer you to my teacher Tim Horn because I feel he will be able to help you where you are at.
How Many Sessions do I need?
As many as it takes to sink it in. Hypnosis follows the rules of compounding which simply means the first thing is hammered in after repetition of several other things. So for instance for someone who wants to quit smoking, in the first session we place in the subconscious mind positive behavior changes. Thats the first suggestion, we repeat it several times both in that first session and follow up sessions so the first statement becomes a new truth, a new way of life easily and naturally.
Typically my clients (the ones I have worked on so far) have seen amazing results just after the first session so there is the option to book one session with me. However, in understanding human behavior and how the mind works, I feel more comfortable offering my clients a three session package. This way we address several different things and we continually reinforce the positive behavior you want to achieve.
What can hypnosis help me with:
A variety of things! Hypnosis can be used for any limiting, restraining belief holding you back. At this time I am only seeing clients for the following needs:
If you need hypnosis for grief/bereavement/emotional upset or pain management I would gladly refer you to Rob Pritchard who also took the hypnosis training with me. Rob is a great listener and communicator in all things psychological and in addition to being a wonderful hypnotist he has a college background in psychology. He lives to help clients on an emotional level!
How much does it cost:
Hypnosis services is an expense. Why? Because the hypnotist understand the issue you are dealing with is not just behavioral, it is mental too. It is human nature to tie in importance to things we have to work for. Case in point, when I started Lotus Wellness from my basement, classes were free and hardly anyone came. Now that I am in a studio and charging, my classes are always full.
It is human nature to associate cost with benefit. If you want to lose weight and you have free options to do it with (go walking outside) you choose instead the paid option (gym memberships) because you need to associate in your mind the benefit of what you are doing as it equates to the success.
Don’t worry though! As much as we understand this, we don’t break your bank about it. Like all my classes and services, there is a cost, and this cost is an indirect contract you make with me that you are willing and ready to commit to seeing this through for your success.
Like I said before you can come in for one session or a package of three. One session will be $200 and it will take about 90 minutes-2 hours. If you do three sessions it will be $300 for the three and each session will last about an hour, with the first session being the longest. The three session package also allows time for me to give you homework and also teach you how to do self hypnosis so you can continue to enjoy the wonderful benefits of hypnosis as a life long change.
So what do you think? Is Hypnosis for you? Of course it is! Call me today and let’s set you up with your appointments. For the three package option, we meet once a week for the next three weeks. As always the sessions will be successful. Why? Because you and I committed to that end result.
Don’t delay, call today and let’s get you out of your mind and back into life!
Love and light and until next time,
Work (703) 369-6762
Cell (540) 359-5090
Hi there, Uma here and man am I ready to write this post! From my own personal experience and recently talking to several people in the past few weeks i have been incited. And of course, what better way to deal with it than blog about it? (blush)
So here’s the thing, I am going to make a statement right now and it may have you in agreement with me (keep reading) or not (no shame, abandon post now) but it has to be said because I am really tired of the world’s insensitivity to people that are hurting. I say world because I am not calling anyone out in my personal life (you know who you are) and for people I have been talking to, it runs the gamut from family to lovers to friends to coworkers. It is just not ok.
Listen….we all have something we are dealing with. If you are walking around with not a care in the world, no luggage, no pain and no suffering, really move on, this is not the post for you.
This post is for the people I KNOW are suffering and doing so silently because they are afraid to speak up or share because they are tired of the judgments and criticism. I am choosing to be the voice of these people today. So here…we….go….
I met a woman at my studio who came in to talk about some matter in her life with her relationships. However, the more we talked and the deeper down we went, we touched on the fact that she was molested as a child. I held space for her as she talked and talked and talked about it until she couldn’t talk anymore. I was intently listening and very involved emotionally as I felt for her but at the very end, she said something to me that made the hair raise up on the back of my neck. She said, “Thank you Uma for listening. I guess that’s all I really wanted, to be heard and not be judged.” I told her that was preposterous, who can judge her in this situation? To which she replied, “My ______ (family member) told me to get over it because there was no penetration, only touch.” Shock.
This is the world we live in. A world where we are so insensitive that we allow crap to come out our mouths and hurl it at other people. Now you see why I am incited? Oh but wait, there’s more stories like this to come.
Here’s the thing folks. You cannot RATIONALIZE someone else’s pain. How do you even begin to justify that?! When you try to rationalize something, you are consciously analyzing the thing you are rationalizing. You are completely out of the field of emotions, where the pain is stemming from.
The next time you are blessed to be in the presence of someone hurting (I say blessed because clearly they trust you enough to share their pain with you) do one of two things and ONLY these two things:
2. I am not hearing YOUR advice about MY pain if your advice includes YOU more than I
Sigh. So, we are creatures of habit and usually our habits are shown in our speech. You can tell a lot about a person from their speech and how many selfies they take. A couple of months ago I met a woman at one of my workshops at my studio. She came with a friend and it was a workshop on “Letting Go”. We talked about relationships and how all relationships had a natural end. Most times, people tend to stay longer than they are supposed to and they then experience suffering as a result as the relationship no longer holds value for either participants. This woman was in awe. Clearly the workshop was hitting home and I noticed it in her eyes but I didn’t want to draw attention to her so I kept talking and made sure to keep my eyes roaming freely around the room. Finally she spoke up to say what I suspected, this talk was exactly what she needed because she was in an on again and off again relationship with someone and she is now seeing it clearly for the first time. Well, no sooner had she said that when her friend started jumping up and making a real show of herself. “Omg I have told you many times, over and over the SAME thing Uma is saying!” As the conversation continued between me and the woman in front of the class (I had her consent to use her personal situation as an example), her friend would chime in every time I said something that resonated with the woman. “Yep, I said the same thing.” “Yep I said that too.” And on and on this went until she finally got the woman to admit out loud to everyone that she was right and she had said the same things to her over the years.
Folks, I know you need validation. Heck, we all need it but you getting validation at another’s expense is not pretty. It is actually downright ugly. If you are the friend who gives people advice and they never take it…..you need to take a step back and realize it is one of two things:
– If you give advice to people and they don’t follow it and what you said will happen, happens….you usually follow that up with a big ole serving of “I TOLD YOU SO”
– You give advice to people and they decide to follow you on it and then suffer the consequences of you holding it over them for the rest of their life. It sounds something similar to this “You should be THANKFUL for me because of ALL I DO FOR YOU”
Ok there is no judgment here, Lord knows I have used these techniques too so if you are guilty of these behaviors, just admit it and make amends within yourself to be better about being a better person to your loved ones. What is the appropriate way to give advice? I have no clear cut answer for you, what I can share with you is what works for me with my clients that allow them to take my advice:
I can go on and on about respecting other people’s pain and suffering but we will stop here now. I feel like I have gotten it off my chest lol, I do feel lighter. My hope is simple. Read this and practice it. If you know of someone in your life right now who is hurting, make a commitment to be there for them as much as you can. I say that last part because there are a few people out there who do like staying miserable, but that is a topic for another time.
If you like this blog post and would like to hear more about pain, suffering and unrequited love or maybe ask me personally your own questions into your own situation, come to my event on Sunday February 7th at the Intuitive Wellness Center in Burke. It is called “Love Redefined: Understanding Today’s Relationships”. For more information and to RSVP, please visit: http://www.meetup.com/thelotusandthelight/events/227974559/
Until next time, have a Namaste and stay beautiful inside and out
Love and light,
It is 9.30pm on January 1st as I write this and I am well aware it is a little improper for me to be wishing you a happy new year but nevertheless I do.
I love the energy of a new year’s day. It is so full of hope and wishes, new intentions and resolve for us to be bigger, better, brighter than we were the year before.
Yes most times we break those new year resolutions but for the most part, we are an optimistic species because new year resolutions are still a “thing” despite many seeing it as a fad, it has withheld the test of time.
There are a couple of things I do at the end of one year and the beginning of the next and you know, I never change it or question it because every year has been a good year, with lots of growth and understanding so in my mind, why fix it when it’s not broken?
Let’s see, the week leading up to New Year’s day, I tend to keep the house in order and clean up or throw out things no longer of use. The day of New Year’s Eve, I make sure all the laundry is done and the trash is taken out. This is telling of my Guyanese background as it was considered tradition to enter the new year with a clean home.
Another cultural observation of New Year’s Day is to make black eye peas and leave it on the stove. Most of my family and friends make cook up rice which include black eye peas in the recipe but I prefer to just cook up some black eye peas on the stove and leave it out. The understanding is that black eye peas invite prosperity and abundance to your home, so you should meet the new year with some on your stove. Hey! This is the stuff old wives tales are made of, so somewhere along the line, it must have worked and hence carried forward generation after generation!
Another New Year’s tradition for me is to make a vision board. I LOVE doing this because I always go into it with my expectations of what I want and by the time I am done, Spirit has another plan for me. I love my board for 2016 because it involves a lot more introspection, meditation and introverted behavior, which is my nature (I know, I know I can be the life of the party but deep down, I really am an introvert). I also inspired Rob to do one of his own and he is excited to see what Spirit has in store for him (big hint-we match up perfectly in love and in life).
I have also completed my annual reading where I pull 14 cards to tell the energy and events of each month (if you would like me to do yours, click here for more info). It is such an affirmation when your reading lines up with your vision board which lines up with your energy. It is all coming together and I am excited to see it play out this year!
Finally I make a resolutions list. Yes I do! I know many people are against making new year resolutions but I will leave them with this thought. How do you approach a project? Do you go into it letting the chips fall where they may or do you have an outline or plan of action? Of course having a plan makes you accomplish that project quickly and with the best results. If you have a plan to become a millionaire in this lifetime, will you wait to win the lottery or will you go about saving a little each year and investing your money to make it happen? I rest my case.
If you have goals and dreams to accomplish, don’t wait! Start on them now and make your resolutions to either accomplish them this year or at least make some headway. For example, I plan to publish my second book, “Love Redefined” and it has twelve chapters. I plan to write a chapter a month and finish it by December to promote and publish next year. Challenge accepted.
I will admit I do not accomplish all my goals (I am Capricorn-a high achiever if you ever knew one!) but I do get a lot of satisfaction with the ones I do accomplish because it shows me, physical proof that I did something with my life and the year was not wasted. How many times have you heard people say the time flew by and they don’t know what they did with their year? Not me! I can tell you with a straight face I have accomplished a 10 day fast with no foods, global volunteered in Brazil, read 12 books and grew my business exponentially in 2015. I lived!
So if you are serious about your goals and want to start with new year resolutions good for you! You are on the right track and I can help with some tips by giving you the top 5 resolutions everyone should make every year. Last year in 2015 I completed 14 out of 17 goals, yah me! This year I upped the ante by making 30 resolutions. Ooohhh, I can’t wait to make them happen! Of those 30, there are 5 that are repeated every year and this should be part of your resolutions as well:
1) New Year’s Resolution #1- Address a Fear
Every year I address one of my fears (yes I am admitting I am human and have fears) by including it as one of my resolutions. Last year in 2015 I had not so much a fear but uncertainty that I can go long periods of time without food. So I took part in the Master Cleanse fast which meant 10 days of no food and only drinking a lemonade mixture to keep you going. It was brutal but it was worth it because the empowering feeling I had after was amazing.
When you set out to conquer a fear and you do it, you feel unstoppable and confident that you can tackle anything. You don’t have to go in with a large resolution like mine, start small. List your fears or uncertainties and pick one that you can do but just avoid doing because it makes you feel uncomfortable. Start with say a bikini wax or sky diving if you want! Whatever it is, large or small, it will give you a sense of empowerment and that will trickle into every part of your life.
2) New Year’s Resolution #2-Increase your Savings Account
If you haven’t already created a savings account, now is the time to. If you don’t believe in the banking system, then buy a safe and save at home. Bottom line, we all need to have a stash put aside for a rainy day. You don’t know what life can bring so saving money for that rainy day will bring you peace of mind now and when it happens.
The goal is to have six month’s worth of finances safely tucked away so if you are unable to work, you can pay your bills and continue living for the next six months while you figure out what you need to do. You don’t have to push yourself and stress yourself out, move at your pace! If you need to have $12,000 in savings ($2,000/month) give yourself three years to accomplish that goal. This way if you have a new year’s resolution to save $4,000 this year it works out to putting aside $300 a month. Of course you can try to accomplish it in one year, but remember resolutions are not meant to stress you out, it is meant to keep you on track with your goals and hold you accountable. Take as long as you need to reach it.
3) New Year’s Resolution #3- Do Something Healthy
Let’s not expect miracles here! As much as I would love to lose 50 pounds, the most I am realistically expecting to take off this year and keep off is 10. The understanding is that you want to live healthy so as you age and get older, you can live fitfully and easily in your body with minimum aches, pains and medical conditions.
Weight loss as Oprah has identified is a tricky event and is less about physical action than it is about mental attitude. If you can see your weight loss journey as a pyramid, it will stand tall and looming over you….and you know what? It should. It has taken you a lot of years to put this weight on, it will not disappear overnight. Instead of focusing on the weight, focus on increasing healthy behavior. Try to incorporate more wellness activities into your life such as walking, yoga or dance. Try to tackle the unhealthy food habits and love of junk food and bit by bit, when you do these things, you start to chip away at that pyramid from the base. Eventually over time it will crumble and you will be free from the dieting yo-yo regimen that has been your life.
My goals this year include restarting my yoga routine and choosing healthier snacks. I am no longer going to eliminate snacking from my diet but make better choices. Instead of reaching for a piece of cake, I will have a yogurt and granola mix instead. If I can keep choosing healthier, it nourished my body and helps me keep the weight off as well.
4) New Year’s Resolutions #4-Include the Family
If you have kids or pets, it is important you also include a resolution to do something for them that they cannot do for themselves. Being the owner of a wellness center, I teach and provide services of a metaphysical nature. As a result, my children grew up practicing yoga in their bedrooms, meditation and other things. This year I plan to complete both of their Reiki trainings (Nathan is level II and Joshua is level I) and increase their daily meditation times.
When you put emphasis on someone else and make it part of your resolutions list, it will come about because it is part of the plan. Listen, we are all good parents and we all try our best to do right by our kids (and pets!) but sometimes we fall short. We fall short because we are tired, busy or have other things to do. Its ok! It happens to all of us, including the super moms and super dads out there. By putting your loved ones on the resolutions list, you are committing to spending quality time with them and not overlooking them. You will feel great about it as they will too.
5) New Year’s Resolutions #5-Grow Yourself
And finally one of the resolutions you must make every year is a commitment to you. We are all students of life and if we do not keep learning, we will stop growing. Stop growing in spirit, in mind and in evolution. Every year I sign up for continuing education classes for my massage therapy license and other licenses I need CEUS for but I also enroll in personal enrichment courses or read books to grow myself as well.
Spiritual enrichment doesn’t need to be about studying alone either. You can take up a new hobby, learn a new dance or recipe or do something you normally won’t do. The idea is to grow your knowledge base and allow expansion in. The more you learn, the more you grow and you become a more open minded person. As we know especially now, the world needs more of that, open minded people.
So in closing dear reader, my wish for you is simple. Live 2016 the best way you can and don’t look back. Make this year fabulous and live it large! I have faith you will do it better than years past and will have much to show for it at the end of the year.
Until next time,
Love and light,
It’s been awhile since I have been on here and I do apologize! We have been so busy at the center and now with the addition of all our wonderful healers, we have been blessed to have many different blog posts not just my usual rambling.
But of course I have stuff to talk about, so I shall ramble on.
The title of this Blog Post, “The Higher I go…The Easier Life Becomes” is actually one of the many mantras Rob gave me. Rob is a Master Healer at Lotus Wellness Center and when I was taking private instruction from him in his #fiveweekchallenge he found blocks to my intended awesomeness and came up with some neat mantras I repeat to myself on a daily basis. This one I struggled with until today.
The funny thing about the Universe is that it brings to you exactly what you want. This is why it is so important for your heart and your mind to be in alignment. You can say with your lips mantras and affirmations but if your heart believes another story, you send that out to the Universe. I believe strongly that while your mind has a link to the Universe, your heart is the gateway to making your intentions come true.
So here I am, little ole’ me sitting daily and saying my mantras: I have unique talents and abilities, I am a Master in manifesting abundance, I dream huge and I know I can achieve my dreams, The Higher I go- The Easier Life becomes…and I struggle every time with the last one.
Why? Because deep in my heart that has not been my belief for a very long time. If we go back…way back…..way, way back….my earliest memory of limitations would come from my mom. She would tell people, “Alex has to work hard for everything she has but for her brothers it came easier for them.” Now wait a minute! Before you get all loyal to me and start bashing my momma, it’s all good. She didn’t mean it in a put down way, that was her belief system and that was based on the fact that everyday she saw me studying for hours and hours and my brothers playing and hanging out. We all got good grades so she assumed I had to work hard and they didn’t.
The thing is, I believed her when she repeated it over and over to people so I started to embody it. When I was studying hard in the beginning, it was because of a love of learning (and you can clearly see that love hasn’t left because of all the trainings and reading I still do!) but then it became a necessity because I started to believe I needed to work hard because things didn’t come as easily to me.
Can you identify? Stop reading! Take a moment and think for a minute, has anyone ever said anything about you or to you that you have started to accept? Maybe they said you were average looking, or couldn’t go anywhere in life or couldn’t amount to anything. Did you start to believe that? Now you see my story.
As with everything, I don’t think people are bad in nature or meant to be harmful. I think there is a lot of talking going on and it is always mindless. If you are intuitive, you pick up and embody what they say especially if they are close to you because you don’t doubt their judgments about you. Why would they lie?
It’s not lying but more mindless chatter. We need to pay attention to it and cancel it out before it can take up residence in your mind. I have a thing I do now when I hear something that is not in alignment with my soul, I say “Cancel/Delete!” and sometimes I shock people out of their socks because I am known to be loud when I say it. I say this statement for big things like “You will never make it big.” to little things like, “You are cranky today” Cancel/Delete! Because I may be cranky now before my morning coffee but it doesn’t set the tone for the rest of the day and you my friend shall not do it for me!
So back to my original post. I have spent the last 30 years embodying the principle that:
1) I have to work hard for everything I have
2) The more I make and become successful, the harder life becomes
And Rob picked up on both of those old belief systems hence why he gave me my specific affirmations. In reality, we make our lives and we can choose whether it will be easy or hard. I know some of you are struggling right now and wondering, “Is Uma crazy? Why would I choose this for myself?” And my answer to you, is I don’t know….why would you?
I have seen it and witnessed it with my own eyes how I self sabotage myself when the going gets good. I recently started reading this book under Micha’s recommendation, its called The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks. To hit on one point (there are many that are amazing, you got to read it!) he said that every time we excel at something, we create a negative situation to anchor us and bring us back down from that high. Oh boy, did he just call me out or what?!
See this whole year has been magical, I have beautiful success and awesomeness at my studio , got in a great and loving relationship and have been just having fun and enjoying life to the fullest. So of course I had to throw some drama in there! This year also came with some cat fights, loss of friends and even a couple of tiffs with my boyfriend. What am I doing?
I’m doing what we all do, starting something because the belief still lies in me that I can’t have good things happen to me. I don’t deserve it.
The Higher I go, The Easier Life Becomes. I started meditating on this fact today because today is the day I change my belief system and really start to agree with this affirmation. The beautiful thing about self discovery is that is all you need to affect change in a positive direction for yourself.
Many times when I help a client integrate a new belief system or address an old one, the insights are powerful and huge. I love seeing the look of wonder and amazement on their face and then they ask me, “Ok what else do I need to do? How do I make the change?” Really, there is nothing else to do. Once you have understood why you do what you do, that knowledge alone is powerful enough to create change. We are adaptable and evolving light beings and we are always striving to be better and become lighter in our consciousness. When we receive insights into our behaviors, the changes happen and take us to new levels of understanding that in turn become new levels of being and behaving.
So in closing, I shared this with you to let you know that yes, life is easy and the more you achieve, the more easier it becomes. If you are like me and grew up with the knowledge that life is hard and you have to work hard to get what you have, banish it! Take it out of your mind and to the corners of the earth because we are truly living in a new time and space. We are in the dimension of manifesting the lives we want and it is an easy process.
Don’t believe me? Then stay tuned! Watch how I end this year in a fantastic style with much more abundance and happiness than I have had all year, heck all my life. The tide has turned for me and I can truly say to you, The higher I go, the easier life becomes. Wouldn’t you join me in making the rest of your life the best of your life? 😉
Until later, love and light
I love conversations where I learn things. Well it goes back to my love of learning….I feel so empowered and enlightened when I learn something new. I guess this is part of the reason why I am on the spiritual path…always trying to figure out stuff and learn more stuff to become better at stuff. Stuff….its what’s in all of us.
I recently had a conversation with a friend of mine who is still reeling from the effects of a breakup that they clearly did not want to happen. This person (for the sake of anonymity let’s call them Susan) had a rough marriage and came out of it and jumped into a rebound relationship and then left that to float around in the dating scene (heart closed and intact) before finally getting into an emotionally rewarding relationship with a spiritually aware person.
Feeling safe, Susan allowed her guard to drop and allow this person into their life. It was wonderful…in fact she will probably tell you she lived more in that one year of relationship than she ever had in her life. It was exhilarating and exciting and she became so consumed with the person and the relationship that she started to neglect other areas in her life, including her kids, her work and herself.
We all know how this ends because at some point in our life, we have all been here. The road to hell is paved with good intentions, and even though my friend Susan took a chance and risked lowering her barriers for love…it unfortunately did not work out for her. The person she was seeing was more spiritually mature than her and knew they were in her life for a lesson…to teach her things, to spend time but eventually to move on and continue on their path.
My friend is heartbroken and months after the breakup, they still are mourning the loss of the relationship and the loss of love.
I listen to my friend go over and over in her head all the things she felt the relationship brought….always adding more importance and specialness to it than it really was. She would begin to lie to herself that this person was more and brought more than they really did. How do I know she is lying? Because the story changes.every.time. First when we would talk, she would talk of their intimate moments being so…well so beyond life. But then as the months passed and time healed most wounds, my friend would come clean and mention here and there that sexually they were not as compatible and there were issues in the bedroom. I listened but said nothing.
Susan would point out how much of a soul mate this person was for her and how they had so much similarity and interest in the same things but then as time passed, Susan would remember how she could not be herself (wild and crazy) around her friends when she was with her partner because her partner was more reserved in behavior in social events. I listened and said nothing.
See the thing is, Susan couldn’t accept a fact that many people today still struggle with. It is something common I hear at the end of a relationship when I see the broken hearted struggle to make sense of it all and struggle to apply importance to what just happened.
What we can’t accept or what we have a problem accepting is this….We opened our heart and allowed someone in and it didn’t end happily ever after.
There lies the grief and the shame….the betrayal and the hurt. We loved and we lost.
It goes against everything we are taught, doesn’t it? I mean most movies these days have happy endings. We are told if we take a chance, it pays off. So we do….clutching our pearls and descending the tunnel with nothing more but a wish, a hope and a prayer. For some of us it works out (congratulations by the way!) but for most of us, we are left bewildered and wondering “WHY ME?”
Susan is at a place in her life where she met someone AMAZING but this chick is closing this person out! She is giving them a hard time, overthinking it and constantly comparing him to her past partners. We can thank Susan for her trials and tribulations because its her sorrow and distress that brought on this blog post. So enough of Susan for now. Let me explain and expound on this for those that may find themselves in this situation. You know me…I never met a bullet point I didn’t like, so here we go…..
1) We need to stay away from happy endings (trust me, I get to use this line more as a massage therapist than ever!)
The truth is, many of us are not content to be in situations where our needs (physical, mental, emotional and spiritual) are not met. It is not enough. Happy endings only come if you stop pushing. Will you ever stop pushing? Absolutely! When you meet the one person or situation where your needs are met, you will absolutely stop; however, you can’t sell yourself short and stop short. You have to keep going.
If Susan had been honest with herself and her mate from the beginning about what she liked, what she didn’t like and what she wanted…the relationship would have ended earlier. The truth of Susan’s situation is they are not matched. They are not equally yoked so someone was always at a disadvantage. In addressing the differences, communication could have ended the relationship in a peaceful, quicker way and the pain Susan was feeling now would have been more manageable.
2) We cannot shut down after we opened up
That is the norm I see in people these days, after they experience a breakup they shut down and go in and refuse to let someone else in. That’s so not fair! There are a billion people in the world and a few of them have the combination to that lock on your heart! Those few people want to open up your safe and put more love in…but yet you think all everyone wants is to take and take more and to take it all. This mindset is not positive and serving your highest good in anyway.
I agree with mourning, hell I am the best mourner when things/relationships end in my life! But at some point you have to open your windows, look out at the world with hope in your heart and promise yourself you will try again. This life is meant to be lived and fortunately loving is living. Experiencing love is such a tender moment in life….it makes us feel alive and at home at the same time. Why would you want to avoid that feeling?
Shutting down after you experienced love is saying game over. Its allowing one person to hurt you and close you off to love. It is equivalent to making a cake. To make a cake, you need several ingredients, prep time and bake time. Three steps! Loving one person and shutting down after that is like assembling all the ingredients and leaving them on the counter. You have no idea how good that cake is going to taste because you never completed the steps needed to get that taste.
If you can allow yourself to keep your heart open, trust and be vulnerable after a breakup…you are continuing on with making your cake. Yes you may be sad and it may not feel authentic but trust me when I say, you will be so glad you persevered on to the end result. The cake is delicious and hits the spot.
3) Do not use honesty as a crutch for bad behavior
Ok you are reading this article and getting some good vibes from it. You feel like maybe you can step out and step up your game. You can try love again. So you go out, meet people, mix and mingle and find someone you are interested in. You are excited but scared. Excited because this person looks good and feels good to you but scared because they excite you so much, if they were to walk away, it might cripple you worse than your previous relationship.
So what do you do? You start putting up your honesty stickers. You know what those are! They are LOUD warning labels wrapped all around you meant to educate and inform your future partner, but all it does is annoy and keep them at a distance. Love is not measured out in a measuring cup…it flows freely from the container and someone who is healthy, loving and ready for a relationship will not respond kindly to this metted out kind of love.
While I agree with being honest and explaining where you are in your process (“I just got out of a relationship, I am not ready to commit”) your actions MUST follow your words. Your words may say you are not ready, but you calling and seeing the person frequently…sleeping with them and being intimate with them….that destroys the integrity of the words.
I find with people like Susan…using the honesty stickers allow them a playground for bad behavior. Susan recently started seeing someone new and she is experiencing feelings for this person. However Susan will not give of herself fully to this new person because deep down she craves her ex…she craves what she knows not what is new. She is a creature of patterns and old paradigms.
I explained to my friend Susan this was wrong what she was doing…because in a theoretical sense, what if her ex called her back? Its not hard to imagine, people do it all the time. What if her ex called her back and they went to dinner to “talk” because as Susan says, she needs closure. What if the old feelings came back and Susan wanted to take it to another level? What would she do? She would say to this new person in her life, “I am sorry to involve you in my mess but I did tell you from the beginning that I was blah blah blah.”
Honesty is not an excuse for bad behavior. You treat people well and you do what is right despite your own selfish desires. In the grand scheme of things, how exactly will someone like Susan be rewarded if she indulged in activity like that? Lead someone new on while still wishing to be with her ex? Would it end happily or will she get a dose of her own medicine? Maybe have her ex chose someone else over her?
I don’t know. I really don’t, these are all theoretical questions and we tend to go down this path when we are confused and mixed up about our emotions. My only advice for you dear reader , is to always do the right thing, act with integrity and treat people kindly. Don’t be selfish about your emotions and your feelings and somehow, the world rewards you for your selflessness. I can say that clearly because I have experienced it and trust me, the reward comes back bigger and better than you could have imagined.
So yes the lemons of life remind us that sour is also a taste. There are six tastes and undoubtedly sour is not one of the most favorite ones…..but guess what? There are times you crave it. Too much sweet makes you sick….too much salt makes you thirsty…sometimes all we need in life is a little sour to zap our taste buds, revive our tongue and get that saliva flowing. It is all part of this world and it is a wonderful feeling when we can appreciate what is dished out to us instead of running from it.
To my friend Susan who may or may not read this….I love you, you will always be my friend and I understand what you are going through but I don’t want you to shut down or shut me out. Let me teach you how to appreciate the sourness of life so when the sweet times roll through….we can enjoy it more than we ever knew how to.
Love and light,