Posts Tagged “counseling”

Do I need a Life Coach?

life-purpose

HI there! Uma here! and coming to you with this new certification I recently received and my clients have been enjoying. So let’s jump right in, shall we?

What IS Life Coaching?

I know, I know the title is somewhat depressing. I mean when I first heard of it, my initial thought was “So you mean to tell me I suck so bad at life, I need a coach?!” Who wants to hear that ever?

Well turns out, I had a bad attitude about it (foot in mouth syndrome) because not only did I spend a year with a life coach and completely turned my life around, but I became one too!

My Personal Journey

I have my own stuff to worry about. Sometimes people forget I have a back story. They look at the thriving wellness center, my loud and fun personality, my wonderful kids and think “She has it all.” I know this because this is what people have told me. To my face. In real time. And I am always shocked. I have a lot going on too! How do you not see the mess within me?

Now don’t get me wrong, I am an AMAZING healer/speaker/teacher/author (duh!) and it IS because of all the experiences I went through in life however the back story is real. And it was beginning to come to the front more and more.

I spent a year seeing a therapist. Every week. No kidding. I have to say, she did a lot for me. She validated how I was feeling and taught me that my thoughts and feelings are real regardless of how other people felt about it. I am incredibly grateful for her because I don’t think I would be here today without all of her amazing help. However. Once I worked through my ISH, I didn’t know what else to do. I didn’t have anything else to talk about. I was feeling real peaceful with my past. However, I was having some serious issues in my present.

Luckily as faith would have it, a life coach came into my life last year in the form of my boyfriend Rob Pritchard. Rob is the owner of the Healing Frequency and an amazing person and healer. When we initially got together, we thought it was a match made in heaven! Two healers with their own businesses, similar interests and friends dating? How does it get better?

Well it didn’t. It got worse! What no one tells you in this divine match up is that we each became a very good, clean, shiny mirror for the parts of ourselves we weren’t too happy with. I saw myself in full regalia and I didn’t like it one bit.

This is where the life coaching came in. Thankfully Rob didn’t run (whew!) but he chose to help me through it. He knew I was reacting to the mirror and he didn’t take anything personally but kept reminding me of the greatness that lay within me, albeit dormant, but coming to the surface. For a year, I fought with him like a rabid dog on the loose, but he never let up and he never gave in. He remained firm, he remained stoic and I loved him even more.

I came out of 2015 a new woman. I came out feeling confident, sure of myself and for the first time in 38 years, independent. I didn’t need Rob or anyone else for my happiness, I found it within myself. And that is in part due to my own inner work but mostly to Rob’s life coaching skills and me finally taking a knee and listening.

This year I took the certification course in life coaching with Rob because I saw just how beneficial it was and it changed my perspective ALOT on life coaching. A coach is not someone yelling at you and beating you down but instead someone who is more like your partner in helping you achieve your goals.

What is a Life Coach:

  • A sounding board when exploring choices
  • A motivational mentor
  • One who gives unconditional support
  • A wake up call and a reality check in
  • A designer to help create a more productive life
  • A referee to help clients push the envelope
  • A beacon during stormy times

I have been all of these things and so much more to my recent clients who have signed on for their coaching sessions. There is so much work to be done and sometimes we can get overwhelmed in life. I recently had a client who felt wishy washy about what she wanted to do in life and her life purpose. After our coaching session, she realized she had a deep desire to follow a path but the amount of work it took made her fearful and anxious, that is why she kept going back and forth.

Right now you are probably thinking, “hmmmm I could probably use a coach myself. I definitely got some areas in my life that need cleaning up.”

So what do you do? Well first there needs to be a deep desire and willingness to want to change and grow. If you come in as a client because someone else is making you do it, it will not work because you are not personally vested. When you are all in the game, I am ready to work with you because I know the desire is there to make a change.

Once you decide to contact a coach and set up your session, you are well on your way! Besides the major result of getting you from where you are now and where you ultimately want to be, there are many other benefits to coaching:

Benefits of Life Coaching:

  • You will BE in action as you determine and set goals with your coach. Finding out what you really want and what goals to set is the first course of action. Rob made me realize my time management was all wrong if I wanted to accomplish the mega life I wanted, so through his guidance I created a time management plan that I am still using a year later!
  • Create a balanced life because you designed it. A coach will not tell you what to do, that is not what coaching is about. Instead they will ask questions and have you ponder and think about what you want to do.
  • Help you to “push the envelope”. Your coach will nudge you out of your comfort zone without having you feel overwhelmed by the process. You will feel safe reaching for more because your coach is your partner and will be by your side as you do it.
  • Help you make better decisions. Now that your focus is defined and clear, you can see things clearly and know what you need to do for your particular issue.
  • Develop more energy! This was an unexpected side effect that I welcomed! When Rob started clearing through my belief patterns, it relieved a lot of energy I had tied up in it and I started working out more and getting more things done. What a treat!
  • Help Clear up Unresolved Issues. This was a big one for me. Most of us need closure and most of us feel we need another person’s blessing for closure. With a coach we start to see the situation as it is and we resolve it for ourselves. It is a truly freeing moment to experience this.

There are many more reasons why coaching works and has helped so many people in life. The most important reason for me though is Accountability. A Coach will hold you accountable for any steps planned. This is where our friends and loved ones can’t go. They sympathize with us, they understand when we don’t have energy to do our homework because the kids were sick or you need to make dinner. Not a coach! A coach will EMPATHIZE with you but they will not join you in your little pity party. They may give you a day to get yourself together (thanks Rob!) but then its back to the grind.

I loved the accountability part of coaching because sometimes I like many people let certain goals drop. There is a reason why resolutions aren’t completed! As humans we fall somewhere along the line. A coach will keep a running tab on your homework and commit to meeting you at the finish line. Trust me, my coach is still here. 😉

So do you think this is for you? Can I be your coach? Sure I can! It just takes your determination to decide so. I am so excited about this new certification i have that I want to share it with you! So for the month of April, I am offering a 30% discount on the 90 minute session I created for my clients. It involves coaching to go through the issues you are dealing with and we end with some Reiki energy work to balance and soothe your energy.

Don’t wait! Book this appointment today! Email me at uma@lotuswellnesscenter.net. You can also opt to have a one hour coaching session without Reiki whether in person or by phone as well!

Until next time,

Love and light

xo Uma xo

Posted on: April 1st, 2016 No Comments

The Higher I go….The Easier Life Becomes

Ascension

Namaste all,

It’s been awhile since I have been on here and I do apologize! We have been so busy at the center and now with the addition of all our wonderful healers, we have been blessed to have many different blog posts not just my usual rambling.

But of course I have stuff to talk about, so I shall ramble on.

The title of this Blog Post, “The Higher I go…The Easier Life Becomes” is actually one of the many mantras Rob gave me. Rob is a Master Healer at Lotus Wellness Center and when I was taking private instruction from him in his #fiveweekchallenge he found blocks to my intended awesomeness and came up with some neat mantras I repeat to myself on a daily basis. This one I struggled with until today.

The funny thing about the Universe is that it brings to you exactly what you want. This is why it is so important for your heart and your mind to be in alignment. You can say with your lips mantras and affirmations but if your heart believes another story, you send that out to the Universe. I believe strongly that while your mind has a link to the Universe, your heart is the gateway to making your intentions come true.

So here I am, little ole’ me sitting daily and saying my mantras: I have unique talents and abilities, I am a Master in manifesting abundance, I dream huge and I know I can achieve my dreams, The Higher I go- The Easier Life becomes…and I struggle every time with the last one. 

Why? Because deep in my heart that has not been my belief for a very long time. If we go back…way back…..way, way back….my earliest memory of limitations would come from my mom. She would tell people, “Alex has to work hard for everything she has but for her brothers it came easier for them.” Now wait a minute! Before you get all loyal to me and start bashing my momma, it’s all good. She didn’t mean it in a put down way, that was her belief system and that was based on the fact that everyday she saw me studying for hours and hours and my brothers playing and hanging out. We all got good grades so she assumed I had to work hard and they didn’t.

The thing is, I believed  her when she repeated it over and over to people so I started to embody it. When I was studying hard in the beginning, it was because of a love of learning (and you can clearly see that love hasn’t left because of all the trainings and reading I still do!) but then it became a necessity because I started to believe I needed to work hard because things didn’t come as easily to me.

Can you identify? Stop reading! Take a moment and think for a minute, has anyone ever said anything about you or to you that you have started to accept? Maybe they said you were average looking, or couldn’t go anywhere in life or couldn’t amount to anything. Did you start to believe that? Now you see my story.

As with everything, I don’t think people are bad in nature or meant to be harmful. I think there is a lot of talking going on and it is always mindless. If you are intuitive, you pick up and embody what they say especially if they are close to you because you don’t doubt their judgments about you. Why would they lie?

It’s not lying but more mindless chatter. We need to pay attention to it and cancel it out before it can take up residence in your mind. I have a thing I do now when I hear something that is not in alignment with my soul, I say “Cancel/Delete!” and sometimes I shock people out of their socks because I am known to be loud when I say it. I say this statement for big things like “You will never make it big.” to little things like, “You are cranky today”  Cancel/Delete! Because I may be cranky now before my morning coffee but it doesn’t set the tone for the rest of the day and you my friend shall not do it for me!

So back to my original post. I have spent the last 30 years embodying the principle that:

1) I have to work hard for everything I have

2) The more I make and become successful, the harder life becomes

And Rob picked up on both of those old belief systems hence why he gave me my specific affirmations. In reality, we make our lives and we can choose whether it will be easy or hard. I know some of you are struggling right now and wondering, “Is Uma crazy? Why would I choose this for myself?” And my answer to you, is I don’t know….why would you?

I have seen it and witnessed it with my own eyes how I self sabotage myself when the going gets good. I recently started reading this book under Micha’s recommendation, its called The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks. To hit on one point (there are many that are amazing, you got to read it!) he said that every time we excel at something, we create a negative situation to anchor us and bring us back down from that high. Oh boy, did he just call me out or what?!

See this whole year has been magical, I have beautiful success and awesomeness at my studio , got in a great and loving relationship and have been just having fun and enjoying life to the fullest. So of course I had to throw some drama in there! This year also came with some cat fights, loss of friends and even a couple of tiffs with my boyfriend. What am I doing?

I’m doing what we all do, starting something because the belief still lies in me that I can’t have good things happen to me. I don’t deserve it.

The Higher I go, The Easier Life Becomes.  I started meditating on this fact today because today is the day I change my belief system and really start to agree with this affirmation. The beautiful thing about self discovery is that is all you need to affect change in a positive direction for yourself.

Many times when I help a client integrate a new belief system or address an old one, the insights are powerful and huge. I love seeing the look of wonder and amazement on their face and then they ask me, “Ok what else do I need to do? How do I make the change?” Really, there is nothing else to do. Once you have understood why you do what you do, that knowledge alone is powerful enough to create change. We are adaptable and evolving light beings and we are always striving to be better and become lighter in our consciousness. When we receive insights into our behaviors, the changes happen and take us to new levels of understanding that in turn become new levels of being and behaving.

So in closing, I shared this with you to let you know that yes, life is easy and the more you achieve, the more easier it becomes. If you are like me and grew up with the knowledge that life is hard and you have to work hard to get what you have, banish it! Take it out of your mind and to the corners of the earth because we are truly living in a new time and space. We are in the dimension of manifesting the lives we want and it is an easy process.

Don’t believe me? Then stay tuned! Watch how I end this year in a fantastic style with much more abundance and happiness than I have had all year, heck all my life. The tide has turned for me and I can truly say to you, The higher I go, the easier life becomes. Wouldn’t you join me in making the rest of your life the best of your life? 😉

Until later, love and light

Uma xo

Posted on: September 21st, 2015 No Comments

Opinions Do Not Define My Reality

girls_gossiping

People surprise me everyday. Just when I think I have an understanding of the human race, someone goes and pulls a stunt to make me question why I am on this planet still. I get it. I think differently and tend to do things differently but still…..we can’t be this self serving.

I think this will be one of my more important blog posts because I am sure….I am CONFIDENT that there are people who suffer because of silliness like this. Luckily for me, I was born without a sensor and will break it down in hopefully a helpful way to help those who cannot help themselves. You know who you are, the meek, the mild and the walked on people of the world.

Today an incident came up that reminded me no matter how far you go, how much lessons you learn, there will still be challenges to overcome. AND if you are not strong in your belief, if you are not confident in your path…someone somewhere can really knock you down.

I have a person in my life that is well, a little difficult for me to handle. I am NOT saying this person is a difficult person. I am saying that interacting with this person is a difficult task for me.

Let’s be real. You are not going to get along with everyone you meet. We are all different personalities and you tend to hang out with the ones similar to you and stay far,far away from the ones that are a complete polar opposite to you. I should have stayed far away because this person and I? complete opposites. Funny thing about after a blow out, you always knew it would come to this. With this person, I knew from the moment I met him that we would have very different views on many things. His behavior and demeanor is different to mine. I always kept my impressions to myself about this person because its just that, MY impressions….not reality, just my opinion. However isn’t it funny the way life works? Soon others would come to me and mention things about this person that I myself felt. I would nod and listen but silently think to myself, isn’t this funny? I think the same thing.

However, I believe in giving everyone a fair chance. I don’t judge, I pay attention. Throughout the years of knowing this person, I have noticed several things that bother me, but I always take the blame on it. “You know he doesn’t know better, he doesn’t know how he comes across, he didn’t mean it, he is really a nice person but just an unsettling presence.” However today, no more.

This person and I had it out in a back and forth email brawl and when I realized the difference of our opinions, lifestyles, beliefs were not going to change, I conceded defeat by choosing to walk away from this person AND wishing them well. I get that some people are in your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime and I have gotten really good at ending friendships in a casual way without hurting or insulting the other person.

I promised I would still speak highly of them to others because of his career (he is really good at what he does professionally) but this whole experience left a bitter taste in my mouth and I chose to end the friendship part of our interactions and stick with the professional association.

Clearly I was wrong somewhere because this person came back in attack mode. He made me to understand that I was rude and disrespectful, I felt like I did no wrong, I did not or do not apologize for wrong behavior and I had anger issues.

STOP. See its a lucky thing I am me and I know better. I have been in this situation before and thankfully, I learned not to succumb to the pressure of “Well if several people tell you the same thing, maybe they are right.”

No they are not right. That is their view. That is their opinion of me and I have a real, rude awakening for you folks…here it is: Your Opinion Does Not Define My Reality. 

In fact, NO ONE’S opinion of you defines your reality. That is their perception. So let’s think about this. There may be five people right now who think I am rude and disrespectful with an anger issue. If I put this fact in a bubble, it makes me feel insecure. Wow, people really think I am such and such. And 5 people? Oh wow, that’s a lot, so maybe I need to stop and think about this.

Take it out the bubble and remind myself of the fact that I have over 400 Facebook friends, over 1000 real life friends and over 2,000 acquaintances/ work colleagues/ family members and that 5 don’t seem like such a big deal.

I know the Yogis believe that everything and everyone is a mirror. So technically this person calling me rude and disrespectful is really describing himself (which by the way is a correct evaluation of him given the exchange). Does that help? A little. You know what helps more? Realizing that not everyone can handle you. I am not everyone’s cup of tea and if I try to become so, then I have to weaken my strength to become acceptable and dare i say it, “drinkable” for the masses.

I don’t know about you but I don’t want to be bearable. I didn’t come in this world to dim my shine to make others feel comfortable. I am who I am and I proudly stand by it.

Now this by no means is a green card to do what you want and as you please without regard for other’s safety and care. You have to always be respectful and kind wherever necessary. However if someone crosses your boundary, then absolutely…give them hell.

My boyfriend? Nicest guy in the world but he will tell you plainly, “I give someone three complimentary punches to my face before I retaliate. The first time might be a mistake, the second time you are more sure but by the third time, you are definitely certain this is the path you want to go down in which case, I will respond.”

With this person today, we were going back and forth over email about a dispute we were having. I was firm and to the point about it and this clearly was too much for him. He came back with the insults of calling me rude and disrespectful and that’s when the boundary was crossed. I had not described him or his attributes in any way. The gloves came off.

Needless to say, I have no problem walking away from this problem person because:

1) I have my ethics and integrity as I know the issues I was having with this person has happened before to other people who confided in me about their situations with him.

2) I value myself over all others so his impressions of me meant nothing to me. I did not think of myself as rude or disrespectful and what really matters is what I think of myself, not what him or others think of me.

3) His opinion represents his thoughts of me and the situation at hand. I do not need to surround myself with people who feel I am capable of being unfair or judgmental.

There is a Guyanese saying that my mom frequently uses with me, “Girl your mouth na left in your mother’s belly.” Meaning that I had guts and I was fearless. I was going to speak up no matter what and say what I have to say.

I wish everyone was like this. If they were, can you imagine? No more miscommunication, no hidden or mixed messages or signals, everything would be out in the open! We would know without a shadow of a doubt who was for us and against us. And you know what? We would be ok with it.

So why am I sharing my little ordeal today with you? Because I know this happens to you too. You get into a dispute with someone, they come out swinging and calling you names or falsely making accusations against your character and feel justified because they said it. They said it, it is out in the open so it must be true right? No, its not.

I am asking you to reclaim your power. How do you reclaim it? You reclaim your power by NOT believing everything said or written to you. You know how you spell check your essay? Well double check the content being delivered to you. Check the angle the person is coming from. Is it from a good place or a negative place? Are they trying to help you or bring you down? What is the motive?

This person feels I believe I am always right. My boyfriend could easily clear that up for him. Many times my love and I have discussions where he brings forth information in a loving and caring manner. I think about it, I double check it and then I either disagree or agree with him (more times than not I agree with him cause he is super smart!) and I have no problem admitting my fault or apologizing for something I did. Why? Because these were not attacks on my character, it was delivered with tact and love and it was meant to grow me not harm me.

So the next time this happens to you, run it through your fact checker before you allow someone else’s opinion to define you. Heck even if you agree with them, it still doesn’t define you because guess what? You can change.

This life is beautiful because at every turn we are given a chance to change, to grow, to live and learn. The people in your life should be helping you with these lessons not attacking you or bringing you down. Don’t give them that power….reclaim it and live your life for you. No excuses and no feelings of regret. You can do this, I believe in you and heck… I will say it! If I can do it, you can too.

Love and light and until next time,

~Uma~

Posted on: March 3rd, 2015 No Comments