2017 .. it’s over!! And it was a DOOZY for so many of my friends and acquaintances. For me it was one of the easier years. Don’t get me wrong, there were major challenges, major changes and major growth but because of the self-work I have been doing (years of it..lol) I was able to handle it better than years prior. I can not go any farther without saying a very special thank you to those that went through it with me and are STILL by my side–I am grateful, humbled and in awe of each of you!! Truly not sure I could’ve made it without your support and love!
2018 .. If you are into numerology you will know this is an 11 Universal Year. (If you are not and want to know more please let me know–I LOVE numerology!!) When I realized this it hit me .. That is my Life Path 11/2. OMG this is MY year! With that knowledge I (easily) made the decision to forge my path, purpose and passion full-time. In the past this would have been extremely daunting, nerve wracking, with a big oh dose of WTH am I thinking!! Even as I sit here and write this I still feel none of those feelings. The knowledge that I AM worthy of the life I desire, I AM capable of achieving it, I DO have the knowledge though my experiences to impart on others, I CAN be helpful to those in need of guidance, I CAN and WILL be successful, I FOLLOW my gut instincts because I DO believe in my intuitive abilities. We ALL deserve the life you envision for yourself and YOU CAN achieve it.
In my self-work I have been studying many individuals in the fields of self-development and spiritual growth. The ones I gravitate towards are Wayne Dyer, Don Miguel Ruiz, Sr and Jr, Don Jose Ruiz, Susan Jeffers, the teachings of Abraham Hicks and many more. Some of the things I have gleaned from these individuals were life-changing; feel the fear and do it anyway; stay in your vortex, you can’t solve the problem with the same mind that created it; you can only control to the tip of your finger; live authentically; don’t take things personal; your opinion of ME is none of MY business; give up your personal history and don’t die with the music still in you. These are just a few thoughts, or mantras, that I now live by; but, more importantly I have learned to embrace silence.
This weekend I attended a New Year—New You 2-day Workshop presented by Uma Alexandra Beepat, of Lotus Wellness Center, and Rob Pritchard, of The Healing Frequency. Among the many things we went over the one that resonated the most was the part about Fear. We were sitting in a circle and Uma asked us what fear was holding us back. I was at the end of the circle and as each participant talked about their individual fear(s) I felt a connection with each but had a serious revelation—I no longer felt the fear of them. Now, let me be completely honest here, just because I no longer felt the fear does NOT mean I no longer feel fearful. I do!! But what I realized was I no longer felt the crippling effect of fear.
You know what I’m referring to .. you can’t move or think or react rationally because the fear is palpable!!
This was a MAJOR breakthrough for me because I have constantly lived in fear; fear of the unknown, fear of what people thought of me, my decisions, the direction I truly wanted to go, fear that no one would accept me AS ME, and fear that I am unlovable. And that is just a few that come to mind!! How did these fears abate you might ask .. well as I mentioned above—YEARS of self-work. Let me tell you right here and right now …. IT WAS EXCRUCIATINGLY PAINFUL! The driving force was to just get through it! And as I sit on the other side of through I can look back with clear eyes and see the craziness of it all! We all think we are protecting ourselves by staying in our ‘comfort zones’ or by ignoring the problem/situation or swallowing the pain, hurt, guilt, shame, regret—you name it. But in truth, I never understood how confining my comfort zone was until I finally stepped out of it.
I now stand in my POWER with the knowledge that this life is for the taking .. it is mine .. it is yours .. it is ALL of OURS to take. The Universe is there to deliver to each of us our desires, we just have to realize, accept and step into it. There is no competition – I am not taking from you and you are not taking from me!
SO STEP INTO YOUR POWER!!
Feel the Fear and DO it anyway!!
Seriously, what do you have to lose?
2018 brings with it massive change and I welcome it with the excitement of a child .. What else is possible??
As I embark on this chapter of my life I wanted to let you know exactly what I will be doing and it is my desire that should you need guidance, assistance, counsel you will seek me out. I have a tribe that is also available to and for you and I look forward to connecting with you, or connecting you with my Tribe, so you too can start your journey to YOU!
The journey continues …
Rae Roach
SERVICES and AFFILIATIONS:
Women Helping Women Retreats and Workshops – Owner
Director of Lotus Signature Massage School
Director of Lotus Wellness Center
Access Bars® Practitioner
Tuning Fork Therapy® Practitioner
Munay Ki Shamanic Practitioner
CACR—Certified Angel Card Reader
Numerology Readings
dōTERRA Wellness Advocate
Arbonne Independent Consultant
CONTACT INFORMATION:
Services: www.lotuswellnesscenter.net
Email: RaeRoachSpeaks@gmail.com
Phone: (703) 200-2110
Social Media:
Personal: Twitter / IG: @rae_roach
Facebook / LinkedIn: Rae Roach
Business: Twitter / IG: @WHW_Retreats
Facebook and Meetup: Women Helping Women Retreats
HI there, Uma here and today’s blog is on the wonderful modality of hypnosis. Of course this comes as no surprise! I just recently became a certified Hypnotherapist through the National Guild of Hypnotists (NGH), the leading organization of Hypnotists in the United States.
It was an amazing 100 hour certification course I took through Tim Horn of Hypnoconsult LLC and I am very excited to work with clients in this new and healing career.
Why Hypnosis?
The belief in hypnosis is that the subconscious mind delegates your day to day activity without you even noticing. This is the place of habits and thought patterns. While your conscious mind is focused on your tasks at hand (I have to do laundry, buy groceries etc…), the subconscious mind is running a tele novela in the background.
“God I look fat in these jeans.”
“I am not hungry but I really want to eat that piece of chocolate cake. Ok I can, I deserve it.”
“Look at him over there with that smug look on his face. I don’t know him but I already don’t like him.”
Sounds familiar? We have thoughts and these thoughts that are judgmental and opinionated come from that subconscious realm deep inside of us and most times without us even paying attention to them.
Usually it is not a big deal to be on auto pilot and go through your day with your little chatterbox inside your head, BUT what if that chatterbox was feeding you lines like above? This will affect you from achieving and staying in a place of peace, compassion and understanding.
So hypnosis works to get to the underlying issues of our thoughts. The understanding is if we can change the thought pattern then that will change the belief which changes the attitude that then changes the behavior. Looks a little something like this:
Thoughts –> Beliefs –> Attitudes –> Behavior.
And this is ultimately what we want, behavior modification. If we can develop new, healthy behaviors, all of life opens up to us with ease and joy.
How does Hypnosis work?
Easy! The first step is to contact a certified hypnotist (like myself) and detail what your issues/situation is. The first phone call or meeting is the longest one as we go over what you are currently struggling with as well as what you want to see and achieve after hypnosis.
After we determine your goals and outcome, you sit or lay comfortably and I begin to take you through a series of progressive relaxation techniques to achieve mental and physical relaxation. Once that is achieved we then “talk” with the subconscious mind.
Sessions can be of two types. A client can either choose to not communicate and let me do all the talking for them or it can be interactive where the person communicates while in a deeply relaxed state of focused concentration. This is where the healing begins.
After the work has been done, I emerge you and bring you back to a state of alertness and you feel amazing! Full of energy and vitality and definitely lighter as a result of all the releasing you have done.
Can anyone be hypnotized?
Absolutely. There are only three requirements to be hypnotized:
In the short course of my life as a hypnotist, I have met several people who say to me they cannot be hypnotized. That’s a false statement. The real statement they should be making (and I tell them this and they all agree) is I choose not to be hypnotized because the issue is still serving me in some way OR I did not trust the person I was with and therefore did not allow myself to fully relax.
As a hypnotherapist, I rule out these three requirements in our first talk. I do suggestibility testing to see how you respond to suggestions and I pick your brain a little to see if you really are ready for change and want to overcome this issue you are dealing with. If I feel unsure in any way with the way you respond, I will and do politely refer you to my teacher Tim Horn because I feel he will be able to help you where you are at.
How Many Sessions do I need?
As many as it takes to sink it in. Hypnosis follows the rules of compounding which simply means the first thing is hammered in after repetition of several other things. So for instance for someone who wants to quit smoking, in the first session we place in the subconscious mind positive behavior changes. Thats the first suggestion, we repeat it several times both in that first session and follow up sessions so the first statement becomes a new truth, a new way of life easily and naturally.
Typically my clients (the ones I have worked on so far) have seen amazing results just after the first session so there is the option to book one session with me. However, in understanding human behavior and how the mind works, I feel more comfortable offering my clients a three session package. This way we address several different things and we continually reinforce the positive behavior you want to achieve.
What can hypnosis help me with:
A variety of things! Hypnosis can be used for any limiting, restraining belief holding you back. At this time I am only seeing clients for the following needs:
If you need hypnosis for grief/bereavement/emotional upset or pain management I would gladly refer you to Rob Pritchard who also took the hypnosis training with me. Rob is a great listener and communicator in all things psychological and in addition to being a wonderful hypnotist he has a college background in psychology. He lives to help clients on an emotional level!
How much does it cost:
Hypnosis services is an expense. Why? Because the hypnotist understand the issue you are dealing with is not just behavioral, it is mental too. It is human nature to tie in importance to things we have to work for. Case in point, when I started Lotus Wellness from my basement, classes were free and hardly anyone came. Now that I am in a studio and charging, my classes are always full.
It is human nature to associate cost with benefit. If you want to lose weight and you have free options to do it with (go walking outside) you choose instead the paid option (gym memberships) because you need to associate in your mind the benefit of what you are doing as it equates to the success.
Don’t worry though! As much as we understand this, we don’t break your bank about it. Like all my classes and services, there is a cost, and this cost is an indirect contract you make with me that you are willing and ready to commit to seeing this through for your success.
Like I said before you can come in for one session or a package of three. One session will be $200 and it will take about 90 minutes-2 hours. If you do three sessions it will be $300 for the three and each session will last about an hour, with the first session being the longest. The three session package also allows time for me to give you homework and also teach you how to do self hypnosis so you can continue to enjoy the wonderful benefits of hypnosis as a life long change.
So what do you think? Is Hypnosis for you? Of course it is! Call me today and let’s set you up with your appointments. For the three package option, we meet once a week for the next three weeks. As always the sessions will be successful. Why? Because you and I committed to that end result.
Don’t delay, call today and let’s get you out of your mind and back into life!
Love and light and until next time,
xo Uma
Work (703) 369-6762
Cell (540) 359-5090
Email: uma@lotuswellnesscenter.net
Hi there, Uma here and man am I ready to write this post! From my own personal experience and recently talking to several people in the past few weeks i have been incited. And of course, what better way to deal with it than blog about it? (blush)
So here’s the thing, I am going to make a statement right now and it may have you in agreement with me (keep reading) or not (no shame, abandon post now) but it has to be said because I am really tired of the world’s insensitivity to people that are hurting. I say world because I am not calling anyone out in my personal life (you know who you are) and for people I have been talking to, it runs the gamut from family to lovers to friends to coworkers. It is just not ok.
Listen….we all have something we are dealing with. If you are walking around with not a care in the world, no luggage, no pain and no suffering, really move on, this is not the post for you.
This post is for the people I KNOW are suffering and doing so silently because they are afraid to speak up or share because they are tired of the judgments and criticism. I am choosing to be the voice of these people today. So here…we….go….
I met a woman at my studio who came in to talk about some matter in her life with her relationships. However, the more we talked and the deeper down we went, we touched on the fact that she was molested as a child. I held space for her as she talked and talked and talked about it until she couldn’t talk anymore. I was intently listening and very involved emotionally as I felt for her but at the very end, she said something to me that made the hair raise up on the back of my neck. She said, “Thank you Uma for listening. I guess that’s all I really wanted, to be heard and not be judged.” I told her that was preposterous, who can judge her in this situation? To which she replied, “My ______ (family member) told me to get over it because there was no penetration, only touch.” Shock.
This is the world we live in. A world where we are so insensitive that we allow crap to come out our mouths and hurl it at other people. Now you see why I am incited? Oh but wait, there’s more stories like this to come.
Here’s the thing folks. You cannot RATIONALIZE someone else’s pain. How do you even begin to justify that?! When you try to rationalize something, you are consciously analyzing the thing you are rationalizing. You are completely out of the field of emotions, where the pain is stemming from.
The next time you are blessed to be in the presence of someone hurting (I say blessed because clearly they trust you enough to share their pain with you) do one of two things and ONLY these two things:
2. I am not hearing YOUR advice about MY pain if your advice includes YOU more than I
Sigh. So, we are creatures of habit and usually our habits are shown in our speech. You can tell a lot about a person from their speech and how many selfies they take. A couple of months ago I met a woman at one of my workshops at my studio. She came with a friend and it was a workshop on “Letting Go”. We talked about relationships and how all relationships had a natural end. Most times, people tend to stay longer than they are supposed to and they then experience suffering as a result as the relationship no longer holds value for either participants. This woman was in awe. Clearly the workshop was hitting home and I noticed it in her eyes but I didn’t want to draw attention to her so I kept talking and made sure to keep my eyes roaming freely around the room. Finally she spoke up to say what I suspected, this talk was exactly what she needed because she was in an on again and off again relationship with someone and she is now seeing it clearly for the first time. Well, no sooner had she said that when her friend started jumping up and making a real show of herself. “Omg I have told you many times, over and over the SAME thing Uma is saying!” As the conversation continued between me and the woman in front of the class (I had her consent to use her personal situation as an example), her friend would chime in every time I said something that resonated with the woman. “Yep, I said the same thing.” “Yep I said that too.” And on and on this went until she finally got the woman to admit out loud to everyone that she was right and she had said the same things to her over the years.
Folks, I know you need validation. Heck, we all need it but you getting validation at another’s expense is not pretty. It is actually downright ugly. If you are the friend who gives people advice and they never take it…..you need to take a step back and realize it is one of two things:
– If you give advice to people and they don’t follow it and what you said will happen, happens….you usually follow that up with a big ole serving of “I TOLD YOU SO”
– You give advice to people and they decide to follow you on it and then suffer the consequences of you holding it over them for the rest of their life. It sounds something similar to this “You should be THANKFUL for me because of ALL I DO FOR YOU”
Ok there is no judgment here, Lord knows I have used these techniques too so if you are guilty of these behaviors, just admit it and make amends within yourself to be better about being a better person to your loved ones. What is the appropriate way to give advice? I have no clear cut answer for you, what I can share with you is what works for me with my clients that allow them to take my advice:
I can go on and on about respecting other people’s pain and suffering but we will stop here now. I feel like I have gotten it off my chest lol, I do feel lighter. My hope is simple. Read this and practice it. If you know of someone in your life right now who is hurting, make a commitment to be there for them as much as you can. I say that last part because there are a few people out there who do like staying miserable, but that is a topic for another time.
If you like this blog post and would like to hear more about pain, suffering and unrequited love or maybe ask me personally your own questions into your own situation, come to my event on Sunday February 7th at the Intuitive Wellness Center in Burke. It is called “Love Redefined: Understanding Today’s Relationships”. For more information and to RSVP, please visit: http://www.meetup.com/thelotusandthelight/events/227974559/
Until next time, have a Namaste and stay beautiful inside and out
Love and light,
Uma xo
I came up with this article because as of recent, I have been feeling like I am holding space for just about everyone and everything going on. From my boyfriend, to my close friends, to the riots in Baltimore to the present day elections in my home country of Guyana….I am doing what I can do in situations where most people feel helpless…I am holding space.
What does that mean exactly? To hold space means to be available mentally, emotionally and spiritually for someone or some event while the person or event is happening. You are lending your energy to it and providing positive energy and vibes for everything to go smoothly. It doesn’t mean you bear the burden of another (thats another technique and another blog), it simply means to allow the person or thing to happen as it is going to naturally happen and you do what you can to provide a safe environment while the events occur.
I think of imploding. Imploding because my new favorite word in 2014 when I had a particularly tough year and everyday I felt like I was internally combusting. To implode means to collapse violently inward and usually as this happens on the inside, nothing can be perceived from the outside. Last year as my world crumbled around me, I maintained a smile on my face the whole time. Imploding.
Imploding happens in my circle. My group of people are actively seeking enlightenment and a better way to live and to be. This means they are actively going after their old belief patterns, changing born-with behaviors and addressing the triggers that occur in their daily lives. They are not blaming others for their hurt feelings, they are accepting responsibility and understanding that no one can hurt us, it is our perception that hurts ourselves. As fun and exciting as this sounds, it is not easy work. To accept responsibility for your pain is painful work. You have to go into it, process it, analyze it and ultimately come out stronger than before because you overcome it. As this happens, the world can seem like a dark and unfriendly place and this is where you can come in for your loved one. You can hold space.
So how exactly do you hold space? There are many different ways to do this but ultimately the general idea is to be present and be available for that person emotionally and spiritually. It does not mean a physical presence at all. Recently my boyfriend lost a very good friend of his and he imploded. It was a sudden death and the shock was too much for him to bear along with his grief. He withdrew into a cave and for one week I didn’t hear from him but I still held space for him. Energetically I reached out to let him know I was here for him when he was ready and physically I gave him space to deal with the pain he was experiencing. That too is holding space.
Here are some more ideas of what you can do when you have someone near to you suffering or experiencing a traumatic event. You can even do this for events , like I did for the recent Baltimore riots:
1) Keep your ego out of it.
Ahh yes ego, the world revolves around us and its all about us…on a regular day, however whenever you are faced with a situation where someone is hurting, the attention naturally has to turn to them. You don’t offer your opinion at this time. Even though you have had great success with coping skill #1, #2 and #3, it is not what they want or need at this time UNLESS they ask you for it. What a grieving person needs is your time and your ear and for the conversation and energy to be about them. Not you. Also whatever they are going through is unique to their path and your opinions do not count. This is not a time to be assertive or efficient, life lessons rarely come with an efficient plan, it is meant to happen to mess up your plans so you can go in and process what is happening. At this time save the advice, “I told you so” and reprimands for some other time…or better yet never. Hurting people don’t need more hurt, they need acceptance and this is what you can give at this time.
2) Give only enough information they can handle
I recently experienced this with my boyfriend. The one mistake I made during his time of grieving was trying too hard to act normal and keep life going because I felt it would help. What happened unfortunately was he became overwhelmed with the to-dos of our days and social commitments we made before the death of his friend. When someone is hurting, life slows down. They do not have the energy or stamina to keep going with regular day to day activities, so be mindful of this. After that one week of no communication, when he slowly came back to me, I was mindful to only share with him information he needed to know at that time. I went ahead and started canceling our plans with our friends for get togethers and dinners because I wanted to buy him some more time to release and to heal from his recent upset. This is what you can do as well. When you are in this situation, become proactive and shelter your loved one from the world. Only relay information to them that they need to know. They don’t care if you make dinner or order in, little tasks like that you can handle on your own. The more time they have to themselves to handle the situation they are in, the faster the process and the sooner they can make it out.
3) Allow people to make their own decisions and trust their own intuition
This is a hard one for stubborn and domineering space holders and yes I am talking about myself. I feel I know everything! So when my loved ones hurt, it is a challenge for me to shut up and listen to them devise ways of how they are processing and what they plan to do. It never, ever meets my standards! The lesson here that I learned (the hard way) is that the situation came about exactly for that reason. For people to learn and grow and trust their own intuition, they have to be placed in some pretty hairy situations that requires their cunning and tact to bring them out of it. When you step back and just lend your energy to the situation, you do several things for the person experiencing this issue:
– You don’t take their power away by letting them make their own decisions
– You make them feel safe enough to fail because you are not judging or condemning
– You allow them to have different experiences and feelings than you and that makes them feel unique and empowered
Tragedy and upset doesn’t have to tear someone down. It is a perfect opportunity to build someone up stronger and better than they were before. Use these tips wisely and you and your loved ones can make it out of difficult situations peacefully and with more consciousness than you had before going into it.
As you choose to hold space for someone or some event, it is important to remember to see the unifying factors that bring people together not the dividing factors that rip us apart. It becomes a choice of are you acting from ego or spirit? Are you trying to help or further complicate the situation?
For me, I want to help. I want to be the one that people know they can come to without fear of judgment or condemnation, that I would provide a safe space for them to implode (or explode) and no matter what happens or what I bear witness to, I will still accept and love them as they are, not as how I want them to be.
Start today creating safe spaces. You will be amazed at how much you can help by just being and not doing.
Love and light,
Uma
People surprise me everyday. Just when I think I have an understanding of the human race, someone goes and pulls a stunt to make me question why I am on this planet still. I get it. I think differently and tend to do things differently but still…..we can’t be this self serving.
I think this will be one of my more important blog posts because I am sure….I am CONFIDENT that there are people who suffer because of silliness like this. Luckily for me, I was born without a sensor and will break it down in hopefully a helpful way to help those who cannot help themselves. You know who you are, the meek, the mild and the walked on people of the world.
Today an incident came up that reminded me no matter how far you go, how much lessons you learn, there will still be challenges to overcome. AND if you are not strong in your belief, if you are not confident in your path…someone somewhere can really knock you down.
I have a person in my life that is well, a little difficult for me to handle. I am NOT saying this person is a difficult person. I am saying that interacting with this person is a difficult task for me.
Let’s be real. You are not going to get along with everyone you meet. We are all different personalities and you tend to hang out with the ones similar to you and stay far,far away from the ones that are a complete polar opposite to you. I should have stayed far away because this person and I? complete opposites. Funny thing about after a blow out, you always knew it would come to this. With this person, I knew from the moment I met him that we would have very different views on many things. His behavior and demeanor is different to mine. I always kept my impressions to myself about this person because its just that, MY impressions….not reality, just my opinion. However isn’t it funny the way life works? Soon others would come to me and mention things about this person that I myself felt. I would nod and listen but silently think to myself, isn’t this funny? I think the same thing.
However, I believe in giving everyone a fair chance. I don’t judge, I pay attention. Throughout the years of knowing this person, I have noticed several things that bother me, but I always take the blame on it. “You know he doesn’t know better, he doesn’t know how he comes across, he didn’t mean it, he is really a nice person but just an unsettling presence.” However today, no more.
This person and I had it out in a back and forth email brawl and when I realized the difference of our opinions, lifestyles, beliefs were not going to change, I conceded defeat by choosing to walk away from this person AND wishing them well. I get that some people are in your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime and I have gotten really good at ending friendships in a casual way without hurting or insulting the other person.
I promised I would still speak highly of them to others because of his career (he is really good at what he does professionally) but this whole experience left a bitter taste in my mouth and I chose to end the friendship part of our interactions and stick with the professional association.
Clearly I was wrong somewhere because this person came back in attack mode. He made me to understand that I was rude and disrespectful, I felt like I did no wrong, I did not or do not apologize for wrong behavior and I had anger issues.
STOP. See its a lucky thing I am me and I know better. I have been in this situation before and thankfully, I learned not to succumb to the pressure of “Well if several people tell you the same thing, maybe they are right.”
No they are not right. That is their view. That is their opinion of me and I have a real, rude awakening for you folks…here it is: Your Opinion Does Not Define My Reality.
In fact, NO ONE’S opinion of you defines your reality. That is their perception. So let’s think about this. There may be five people right now who think I am rude and disrespectful with an anger issue. If I put this fact in a bubble, it makes me feel insecure. Wow, people really think I am such and such. And 5 people? Oh wow, that’s a lot, so maybe I need to stop and think about this.
Take it out the bubble and remind myself of the fact that I have over 400 Facebook friends, over 1000 real life friends and over 2,000 acquaintances/ work colleagues/ family members and that 5 don’t seem like such a big deal.
I know the Yogis believe that everything and everyone is a mirror. So technically this person calling me rude and disrespectful is really describing himself (which by the way is a correct evaluation of him given the exchange). Does that help? A little. You know what helps more? Realizing that not everyone can handle you. I am not everyone’s cup of tea and if I try to become so, then I have to weaken my strength to become acceptable and dare i say it, “drinkable” for the masses.
I don’t know about you but I don’t want to be bearable. I didn’t come in this world to dim my shine to make others feel comfortable. I am who I am and I proudly stand by it.
Now this by no means is a green card to do what you want and as you please without regard for other’s safety and care. You have to always be respectful and kind wherever necessary. However if someone crosses your boundary, then absolutely…give them hell.
My boyfriend? Nicest guy in the world but he will tell you plainly, “I give someone three complimentary punches to my face before I retaliate. The first time might be a mistake, the second time you are more sure but by the third time, you are definitely certain this is the path you want to go down in which case, I will respond.”
With this person today, we were going back and forth over email about a dispute we were having. I was firm and to the point about it and this clearly was too much for him. He came back with the insults of calling me rude and disrespectful and that’s when the boundary was crossed. I had not described him or his attributes in any way. The gloves came off.
Needless to say, I have no problem walking away from this problem person because:
1) I have my ethics and integrity as I know the issues I was having with this person has happened before to other people who confided in me about their situations with him.
2) I value myself over all others so his impressions of me meant nothing to me. I did not think of myself as rude or disrespectful and what really matters is what I think of myself, not what him or others think of me.
3) His opinion represents his thoughts of me and the situation at hand. I do not need to surround myself with people who feel I am capable of being unfair or judgmental.
There is a Guyanese saying that my mom frequently uses with me, “Girl your mouth na left in your mother’s belly.” Meaning that I had guts and I was fearless. I was going to speak up no matter what and say what I have to say.
I wish everyone was like this. If they were, can you imagine? No more miscommunication, no hidden or mixed messages or signals, everything would be out in the open! We would know without a shadow of a doubt who was for us and against us. And you know what? We would be ok with it.
So why am I sharing my little ordeal today with you? Because I know this happens to you too. You get into a dispute with someone, they come out swinging and calling you names or falsely making accusations against your character and feel justified because they said it. They said it, it is out in the open so it must be true right? No, its not.
I am asking you to reclaim your power. How do you reclaim it? You reclaim your power by NOT believing everything said or written to you. You know how you spell check your essay? Well double check the content being delivered to you. Check the angle the person is coming from. Is it from a good place or a negative place? Are they trying to help you or bring you down? What is the motive?
This person feels I believe I am always right. My boyfriend could easily clear that up for him. Many times my love and I have discussions where he brings forth information in a loving and caring manner. I think about it, I double check it and then I either disagree or agree with him (more times than not I agree with him cause he is super smart!) and I have no problem admitting my fault or apologizing for something I did. Why? Because these were not attacks on my character, it was delivered with tact and love and it was meant to grow me not harm me.
So the next time this happens to you, run it through your fact checker before you allow someone else’s opinion to define you. Heck even if you agree with them, it still doesn’t define you because guess what? You can change.
This life is beautiful because at every turn we are given a chance to change, to grow, to live and learn. The people in your life should be helping you with these lessons not attacking you or bringing you down. Don’t give them that power….reclaim it and live your life for you. No excuses and no feelings of regret. You can do this, I believe in you and heck… I will say it! If I can do it, you can too.
Love and light and until next time,
~Uma~
