Posts Tagged “coaching”

How Hypnosis Works for You

psychic reading

HI there, Uma here and today’s blog is on the wonderful modality of hypnosis. Of course this comes as no surprise! I just recently became a certified Hypnotherapist through the National Guild of Hypnotists (NGH), the leading organization of Hypnotists in the United States.

It was an amazing 100 hour certification course I took through Tim Horn of Hypnoconsult LLC and I am very excited to work with clients in this new and healing career.

Why Hypnosis?

The belief in hypnosis is that the subconscious mind delegates your day to day activity without you even noticing. This is the place of habits and thought patterns. While your conscious mind is focused on your tasks at hand (I have to do laundry, buy groceries etc…), the subconscious mind is running a tele novela in the background.

“God I look fat in these jeans.” 

“I am not hungry but I really want to eat that piece of chocolate cake. Ok I can, I deserve it.”

“Look at him over there with that smug look on his face. I don’t know him but I already don’t like him.”

Sounds familiar? We have thoughts and these thoughts that are judgmental and opinionated come from that subconscious realm deep inside of us and most times without us even paying attention to them.

Usually it is not a big deal to be on auto pilot and go through your day with your little chatterbox inside your head, BUT what if that chatterbox was feeding you lines like above? This will affect you from achieving and staying in a place of peace, compassion and understanding.

So hypnosis works to get to the underlying issues of our thoughts. The understanding is if we can change the thought pattern then that will change the belief which changes the attitude that then changes the behavior. Looks a little something like this:

Thoughts –> Beliefs –> Attitudes –> Behavior.

And this is ultimately what we want, behavior modification. If we can develop new, healthy behaviors, all of life opens up to us with ease and joy.

How does Hypnosis work?

Easy! The first step is to contact a certified hypnotist (like myself) and detail what your issues/situation is. The first phone call or meeting is the longest one as we go over what you are currently struggling with as well as what you want to see and achieve after hypnosis.

After we determine your goals and outcome, you sit or lay comfortably and I begin to take you through a series of progressive relaxation techniques to achieve mental and physical relaxation. Once that is achieved we then “talk” with the subconscious mind.

Sessions can be of two types. A client can either choose to not communicate and let me do all the talking for them or it can be interactive where the person communicates while in a deeply relaxed state of focused concentration. This is where the healing begins.

After the work has been done, I emerge you and bring you back to a state of alertness and you feel amazing! Full of energy and vitality and definitely lighter as a result of all the releasing you have done.

Can anyone be hypnotized?

Absolutely. There are only three requirements to be hypnotized:

  1. An IQ over 70. You must be reasonably sensible and able to understand what I am saying to you.
  2. Have an ability to follow suggestions.
  3. Have a willingness to want to change

In the short course of my life as a hypnotist, I have met several people who say to me they cannot be hypnotized. That’s a false statement. The real statement they should be making (and I tell them this and they all agree) is I choose not to be hypnotized because the issue is still serving me in some way OR I did not trust the person I was with and therefore did not allow myself to fully relax.

As a hypnotherapist, I rule out these three requirements in our first talk. I do suggestibility testing to see how you respond to suggestions and I pick your brain a little to see if you really are ready for change and want to overcome this issue you are dealing with. If I feel unsure in any way with the way you respond, I will and do politely refer you to my teacher Tim Horn because I feel he will be able to help you where you are at.

How Many Sessions do I need?

As many as it takes to sink it in. Hypnosis follows the rules of compounding which simply means the first thing is hammered in after repetition of several other things. So for instance for someone who wants to quit smoking, in the first session we place in the subconscious mind positive behavior changes. Thats the first suggestion, we repeat it several times both in that first session and follow up sessions so the first statement becomes a new truth, a new way of life easily and naturally.

Typically my clients (the ones I have worked on so far) have seen amazing results just after the first session so there is the option to book one session with me. However, in understanding human behavior and how the mind works, I feel more comfortable offering my clients a three session package. This way we address several different things and we continually reinforce the positive behavior you want to achieve.

What can hypnosis help me with:

A variety of things! Hypnosis can be used for any limiting, restraining belief holding you back. At this time I am only seeing clients for the following needs:

  1. Stress Release- relieving fear, worry, stress and anxiety either in general or for a specific event
  2. Weight Management- establishing healthy eating and lifestyle goals
  3. Smoking Cessation- to completely quit the habit of cigarette smoking
  4. Sleep Enhancement- to create a better sleep habit and reinforce positive association with sleep

If you need hypnosis for grief/bereavement/emotional upset or pain management I would gladly refer you to Rob Pritchard who also took the hypnosis training with me. Rob is a great listener and communicator in all things psychological and in addition to being a wonderful hypnotist he has a college background in psychology. He lives to help clients on an emotional level!

How much does it cost:

Hypnosis services is an expense. Why? Because the hypnotist understand the issue you are dealing with is not just behavioral, it is mental too. It is human nature to tie in importance to things we have to work for. Case in point, when I started Lotus Wellness from my basement, classes were free and hardly anyone came. Now that I am in a studio and charging, my classes are always full.

It is human nature to associate cost with benefit. If you want to lose weight and you have free options to do it with (go walking outside) you choose instead the paid option (gym memberships) because you need to associate in your mind the benefit of what you are doing as it equates to the success.

Don’t worry though! As much as we understand this, we don’t break your bank about it. Like all my classes and services, there is a cost, and this cost is an indirect contract you make with me that you are willing and ready to commit to seeing this through for your success.

Like I said before you can come in for one session or a package of three. One session will be $200 and it will take about 90 minutes-2 hours. If you do three sessions it will be $300 for the three and each session will last about an hour, with the first session being the longest. The three session package also allows time for me to give you homework and also teach you how to do self hypnosis so you can continue to enjoy the wonderful benefits of hypnosis as a life long change.

So what do you think? Is Hypnosis for you? Of course it is! Call me today and let’s set you up with your appointments. For the three package option, we meet once a week for the next three weeks. As always the sessions will be successful. Why? Because you and I committed to that end result.

Don’t delay, call today and let’s get you out of your mind and back into life!

Love and light and until next time,

xo Uma

Work (703) 369-6762

Cell (540) 359-5090

Email: uma@lotuswellnesscenter.net

Posted on: February 16th, 2016 No Comments

Let My Pain Be…

suffering in love

Hi there, Uma here and man am I ready to write this post! From my own personal experience and recently talking to several people in the past few weeks i have been incited. And of course, what better way to deal with it than blog about it? (blush)

So here’s the thing, I am going to make a statement right now and it may have you in agreement with me (keep reading) or not (no shame, abandon post now) but it has to be said because I am really tired of the world’s insensitivity to people that are hurting. I say world because I am not calling anyone out in my personal life (you know who you are) and for people I have been talking to, it runs the gamut from family to lovers to friends to coworkers. It is just not ok.

Listen….we all have something we are dealing with. If you are walking around with not a care in the world, no luggage, no pain and no suffering, really move on, this is not the post for you.

This post is for the people I KNOW are suffering and doing so silently because they are afraid to speak up or share because they are tired of the judgments and criticism. I am choosing to be the voice of these people today. So here…we….go….

  1. My pain is my pain and try as you might, you will never know my pain

I met a woman at my studio who came in to talk about some matter in her life with her relationships. However, the more we talked and the deeper down we went, we touched on the fact that she was molested as a child. I held space for her as she talked and talked and talked about it until she couldn’t talk anymore. I was intently listening and very involved emotionally as I felt for her but at the very end, she said something to me that made the hair raise up on the back of my neck. She said, “Thank you Uma for listening. I guess that’s all I really wanted, to be heard and not be judged.” I told her that was preposterous, who can judge her in this situation? To which she replied, “My ______ (family member) told me to get over it because there was no penetration, only touch.” Shock.

This is the world we live in. A world where we are so insensitive that we allow crap to come out our mouths and hurl it at other people. Now you see why I am incited? Oh but wait, there’s more stories like this to come.

Here’s the thing folks. You cannot RATIONALIZE someone else’s pain. How do you even begin to justify that?! When you try to rationalize something, you are consciously analyzing the thing you are rationalizing. You are completely out of the field of emotions, where the pain is stemming from.

The next time you are blessed to be in the presence of someone hurting (I say blessed because clearly they trust you enough to share their pain with you) do one of two things and ONLY these two things:

  • Have compassion. Listen intently with your heart, maintain eye contact and relax the face. Allow yourself to listen to what they are saying and when you do say something, do it to bring forth encouraging words and not to respond. Most people who are hurting are not looking to you for advice but some form of comfort if even only temporarily from their discomfort. You would be amazed how little is required from you to do so much for someone who is hurting. All you really have to do is sit quietly, listen and lend an ear. Most times when you do this, people will tell you they feel amazing after. They feel lighter and really they are because energetically they have chipped away at the block of pain and they can feel it.
  • If you are unable to provide space for someone because you are busy, tired, selfish or egotistical then do the following: Have compassion. Say something gently to let them know that you understand this is a source of hurt to them and you are unable to hold space for them at this time or forever, whichever your cold heart desires. It could look like this: “I am so sorry to hear this is affecting you. I can hear the pain in your voice, this must be something very deep for you and I am so sorry to see you in this amount of pain. I need to be honest with you, because I love you and respect you, I don’t think I am the right person for you to talk to about this. For my own personal reasons (I am dead on the inside) I cannot provide a safe and warm place for you to open up and share and help in your grief. I hope you understand and can find someone to share this with because it seems like you have to talk about it and not keep it in.”

2. I am not hearing YOUR advice about MY pain if your advice includes YOU more than I

Sigh. So, we are creatures of habit and usually our habits are shown in our speech. You can tell a lot about a person from their speech and how many selfies they take. A couple of months ago I met a woman at one of my workshops at my studio. She came with a friend and it was a workshop on “Letting Go”. We talked about relationships and how all relationships had a natural end. Most times, people tend to stay longer than they are supposed to and they then experience suffering as a result as the relationship no longer holds value for either participants. This woman was in awe. Clearly the workshop was hitting home and I noticed it in her eyes but I didn’t want to draw attention to her so I kept talking and made sure to keep my eyes roaming freely around the room. Finally she spoke up to say what I suspected, this talk was exactly what she needed because she was in an on again and off again relationship with someone and she is now seeing it clearly for the first time. Well, no sooner had she said that when her friend started jumping up and making a real show of herself. “Omg I have told you many times, over and over the SAME thing Uma is saying!” As the conversation continued between me and the woman in front of the class (I had her consent to use her personal situation as an example), her friend would chime in every time I said something that resonated with the woman. “Yep, I said the same thing.” “Yep I said that too.” And on and on this went until she finally got the woman to admit out loud to everyone that she was right and she had said the same things to her over the years.

Folks, I know you need validation. Heck, we all need it but you getting validation at another’s expense is not pretty. It is actually downright ugly. If you are the friend who gives people advice and they never take it…..you need to take a step back and realize it is one of two things:

  • Either you are not giving sound advice and people realize that and just don’t pay attention

 

  • OR you give GREAT advice but they cannot use it because it usually comes attached to some form of validation for you. My pain is your victory and that is not ok. I know I am rubbing a lot of egos the wrong way right now but hear me out, this can be very helpful to you and people in your life. How to tell if you are doing this? Easy!

– If you give advice to people and they don’t follow it and what you said will happen, happens….you usually follow that up with a big ole serving of “I TOLD YOU SO”

– You give advice to people and they decide to follow you on it and then suffer the consequences of you holding it over them for the rest of their life. It sounds something similar to this “You should be THANKFUL for me because of ALL I DO FOR YOU”

Ok there is no judgment here, Lord knows I have used these techniques too so if you are guilty of these behaviors, just admit it and make amends within yourself to be better about being a better person to your loved ones. What is the appropriate way to give advice? I have no clear cut answer for you, what I can share with you is what works for me with my clients that allow them to take my advice:

  • When I hear a person’s dilemma, I verbally mirror back to them what I am hearing. Sometimes people don’t understand just how crazy they sound until it is mirrored back to them. “So what I am hearing is that you are frustrated waiting by the phone for him because the relationship is on his schedule when he is not with his wife?” Ahhhh, revelations. BUT if you do this, please do it with an honest questioning voice and not one dripping with sarcasm. Hold that for the comedy club.
  • I like to put the power in the person’s hands. Why would someone feel motivated to make a change when it is advice from me? It is much better for me to make a change when I made the decision by myself. So in my sessions, my role is less of an authoritarian figure and more of a sounding board to get them where they need to be. I can make suggestions, but I do so lightly and put it back in their court. Something I would say sounds like, “Ok so these are the two decisions you are faced with. I am not telling you which to choose and in fact I am not even telling you to choose. What I am saying is to process. Process where you are at right now and when the time is right, you will make the decision that is right for you.”
  • Have empathy. I like to let clients know I understand where they are at and empathize with them. That sounds like this, “I know you have to make a decision between the two…and you know what? Take as much time as you need because if I were in your shoes, that would be a difficult situation for me too. I can see and understand now why this is painful for you and how much you have suffered as a result. I know though that when you make a decision, it will put you in a much better place than where you are right now.”

 

I can go on and on about respecting other people’s pain and suffering but we will stop here now. I feel like I have gotten it off my chest lol, I do feel lighter. My hope is simple. Read this and practice it. If you know of someone in your life right now who is hurting, make a commitment to be there for them as much as you can. I say that last part because there are a few people out there who do like staying miserable, but that is a topic for another time.

If you like this blog post and would like to hear more about pain, suffering and unrequited love or maybe ask me personally your own questions into your own situation, come to my event on Sunday February 7th at the Intuitive Wellness Center in Burke. It is called “Love Redefined: Understanding Today’s Relationships”. For more information and to RSVP, please visit:  http://www.meetup.com/thelotusandthelight/events/227974559/

Until next time, have a Namaste and stay beautiful inside and out

Love and light,

Uma xo

 

 

 

 

 

Posted on: January 11th, 2016 No Comments

Opinions Do Not Define My Reality

girls_gossiping

People surprise me everyday. Just when I think I have an understanding of the human race, someone goes and pulls a stunt to make me question why I am on this planet still. I get it. I think differently and tend to do things differently but still…..we can’t be this self serving.

I think this will be one of my more important blog posts because I am sure….I am CONFIDENT that there are people who suffer because of silliness like this. Luckily for me, I was born without a sensor and will break it down in hopefully a helpful way to help those who cannot help themselves. You know who you are, the meek, the mild and the walked on people of the world.

Today an incident came up that reminded me no matter how far you go, how much lessons you learn, there will still be challenges to overcome. AND if you are not strong in your belief, if you are not confident in your path…someone somewhere can really knock you down.

I have a person in my life that is well, a little difficult for me to handle. I am NOT saying this person is a difficult person. I am saying that interacting with this person is a difficult task for me.

Let’s be real. You are not going to get along with everyone you meet. We are all different personalities and you tend to hang out with the ones similar to you and stay far,far away from the ones that are a complete polar opposite to you. I should have stayed far away because this person and I? complete opposites. Funny thing about after a blow out, you always knew it would come to this. With this person, I knew from the moment I met him that we would have very different views on many things. His behavior and demeanor is different to mine. I always kept my impressions to myself about this person because its just that, MY impressions….not reality, just my opinion. However isn’t it funny the way life works? Soon others would come to me and mention things about this person that I myself felt. I would nod and listen but silently think to myself, isn’t this funny? I think the same thing.

However, I believe in giving everyone a fair chance. I don’t judge, I pay attention. Throughout the years of knowing this person, I have noticed several things that bother me, but I always take the blame on it. “You know he doesn’t know better, he doesn’t know how he comes across, he didn’t mean it, he is really a nice person but just an unsettling presence.” However today, no more.

This person and I had it out in a back and forth email brawl and when I realized the difference of our opinions, lifestyles, beliefs were not going to change, I conceded defeat by choosing to walk away from this person AND wishing them well. I get that some people are in your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime and I have gotten really good at ending friendships in a casual way without hurting or insulting the other person.

I promised I would still speak highly of them to others because of his career (he is really good at what he does professionally) but this whole experience left a bitter taste in my mouth and I chose to end the friendship part of our interactions and stick with the professional association.

Clearly I was wrong somewhere because this person came back in attack mode. He made me to understand that I was rude and disrespectful, I felt like I did no wrong, I did not or do not apologize for wrong behavior and I had anger issues.

STOP. See its a lucky thing I am me and I know better. I have been in this situation before and thankfully, I learned not to succumb to the pressure of “Well if several people tell you the same thing, maybe they are right.”

No they are not right. That is their view. That is their opinion of me and I have a real, rude awakening for you folks…here it is: Your Opinion Does Not Define My Reality. 

In fact, NO ONE’S opinion of you defines your reality. That is their perception. So let’s think about this. There may be five people right now who think I am rude and disrespectful with an anger issue. If I put this fact in a bubble, it makes me feel insecure. Wow, people really think I am such and such. And 5 people? Oh wow, that’s a lot, so maybe I need to stop and think about this.

Take it out the bubble and remind myself of the fact that I have over 400 Facebook friends, over 1000 real life friends and over 2,000 acquaintances/ work colleagues/ family members and that 5 don’t seem like such a big deal.

I know the Yogis believe that everything and everyone is a mirror. So technically this person calling me rude and disrespectful is really describing himself (which by the way is a correct evaluation of him given the exchange). Does that help? A little. You know what helps more? Realizing that not everyone can handle you. I am not everyone’s cup of tea and if I try to become so, then I have to weaken my strength to become acceptable and dare i say it, “drinkable” for the masses.

I don’t know about you but I don’t want to be bearable. I didn’t come in this world to dim my shine to make others feel comfortable. I am who I am and I proudly stand by it.

Now this by no means is a green card to do what you want and as you please without regard for other’s safety and care. You have to always be respectful and kind wherever necessary. However if someone crosses your boundary, then absolutely…give them hell.

My boyfriend? Nicest guy in the world but he will tell you plainly, “I give someone three complimentary punches to my face before I retaliate. The first time might be a mistake, the second time you are more sure but by the third time, you are definitely certain this is the path you want to go down in which case, I will respond.”

With this person today, we were going back and forth over email about a dispute we were having. I was firm and to the point about it and this clearly was too much for him. He came back with the insults of calling me rude and disrespectful and that’s when the boundary was crossed. I had not described him or his attributes in any way. The gloves came off.

Needless to say, I have no problem walking away from this problem person because:

1) I have my ethics and integrity as I know the issues I was having with this person has happened before to other people who confided in me about their situations with him.

2) I value myself over all others so his impressions of me meant nothing to me. I did not think of myself as rude or disrespectful and what really matters is what I think of myself, not what him or others think of me.

3) His opinion represents his thoughts of me and the situation at hand. I do not need to surround myself with people who feel I am capable of being unfair or judgmental.

There is a Guyanese saying that my mom frequently uses with me, “Girl your mouth na left in your mother’s belly.” Meaning that I had guts and I was fearless. I was going to speak up no matter what and say what I have to say.

I wish everyone was like this. If they were, can you imagine? No more miscommunication, no hidden or mixed messages or signals, everything would be out in the open! We would know without a shadow of a doubt who was for us and against us. And you know what? We would be ok with it.

So why am I sharing my little ordeal today with you? Because I know this happens to you too. You get into a dispute with someone, they come out swinging and calling you names or falsely making accusations against your character and feel justified because they said it. They said it, it is out in the open so it must be true right? No, its not.

I am asking you to reclaim your power. How do you reclaim it? You reclaim your power by NOT believing everything said or written to you. You know how you spell check your essay? Well double check the content being delivered to you. Check the angle the person is coming from. Is it from a good place or a negative place? Are they trying to help you or bring you down? What is the motive?

This person feels I believe I am always right. My boyfriend could easily clear that up for him. Many times my love and I have discussions where he brings forth information in a loving and caring manner. I think about it, I double check it and then I either disagree or agree with him (more times than not I agree with him cause he is super smart!) and I have no problem admitting my fault or apologizing for something I did. Why? Because these were not attacks on my character, it was delivered with tact and love and it was meant to grow me not harm me.

So the next time this happens to you, run it through your fact checker before you allow someone else’s opinion to define you. Heck even if you agree with them, it still doesn’t define you because guess what? You can change.

This life is beautiful because at every turn we are given a chance to change, to grow, to live and learn. The people in your life should be helping you with these lessons not attacking you or bringing you down. Don’t give them that power….reclaim it and live your life for you. No excuses and no feelings of regret. You can do this, I believe in you and heck… I will say it! If I can do it, you can too.

Love and light and until next time,

~Uma~

Posted on: March 3rd, 2015 No Comments